


Near to You

by contagiousrhythm211



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-02-14 14:18:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2194971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/contagiousrhythm211/pseuds/contagiousrhythm211
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elena and Ruslan know how difficult it is to find a good ice dance partner and neither expected to suddenly find that ideal person at the most uncertain moment of their careers.</p><p>Proving to be the perfect pair on the ice in their first year seems to be going smoother than anyone expected, but their growing feelings towards each other mixed with old fears of being burned before could prove to be the most difficult challenge to overcome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Carry On

**Monday, April 21, 2014**

Elena sat perched on the edge of her bed, in her tiny single bedroom, of her tiny new apartment. It had only been six days since she moved in, although nothing about the state of the apartment gave any indication that the current resident had lived there any longer than a day or two. Boxes covered the floor of every room, most still unopened. The empty space mocked her, reminding her that this wasn't home, reminding her that she wasn't sure if this place was willing to put up with her. And that made it all that much harder to stick around long enough to unpack any more than the basic essentials. Hence all the unopened boxes almost a week later.

The three weeks since Worlds had been like a series of emotional tidal waves, but she had dealt with it all. First it had been sadness. The reality of finally being forced to confront the fact that the boy she had fought so hard to be with was willing to throw away everything they had worked together to accomplish. Sadness had been followed by anger. He didn't think they were worth it. He didn't think she was worth it. He was selfish and spoiled and he was probably going to keep getting everything he wanted. And Elena just felt nothing.

The rush of constantly changing emotions had been one thing, but now she was just numb. Being at practice was the only time she felt like herself anymore. The ice, even though it was new, always felt like home to her. And Ruslan had been an amazing partner so far. Already so willing to put her first. But things felt so different every time she left the rink. And it was so hard to be optimistic after everything that had happened. It wasn't like you could build a strong, successful partnership on two weeks of working together.

Ruslan lived in the same building, just one floor below. Elena thought, not for the first time, how easy it would be to just go knock on his door and... what? Ask him if she could just hang out for a while because being alone right now was hard? Would he understand that? They were both coming into this with a lot of recent emotional baggage, and everything about their relationship felt like a delicate balancing act. Skating together was going so well, but one wrong move off-ice and he would probably run away too. Like Nikita running away to Michigan with Victoria. To the same rink she had run away to the last time he had left her. And as numb as Elena felt, she could still manage to hate the small part of herself that wanted more than anything for him to still be with her. For him to wrap his arms around her and tell her that the whole ordeal had been a nightmare. For him to tell her that he would never-

“I'm going for a walk!” Elena declared to the empty walls, as if they could somehow hold her accountable for this. _I'm going on a walk so I don't have to stare at this empty room and all these boxes, and so I don't have to think about anything,_ , she silently added. Elena grabbed her tennis shoes, pulled them on her feet, and tightened the laces. She picked up her phone, and after considering for a moment, powered it down. She suddenly just wanted to disappear from the world for a bit. _Besides_ , she thought as she headed out the door, _it's not like anyone will be trying to get ahold of me anyways_.

\------------------------------------------

Elena wandered around the neighborhood aimlessly for close to two hours, forcing herself to change direction every time her mind started to become cluttered with thoughts of the past. She arrived back at the apartment building close to dusk. As she climbed the stairs, she was so focused on making herself not think of anything that she ran straight into someone turning the corner onto her floor.

“Elena! There you are!”

“Ruslan, sorry. I wasn't paying attention,” she apologized.

“That can make stairs difficult,” he laughed.

She smiled back. “Wait, what were you doing up here?”

“Oh, um, looking for you actually. I texted you a few hours ago asking if you had plans for dinner and then when I still hadn't heard back I came up to check on you. When you weren't home I assumed you must have had plans, and, well now we're here.”

“I didn't actually have plans,” she responded fishing her phone out of her pocket and turning it back on. “I just went for a walk that ended up lasting longer than I planned. And I had my phone but it wasn't on,” she said holding up the phone to show him as it buzzed indicating two new messages and a missed phone call.

‘Sorry, that may have been overkill,” he laughed. “I've just never seen you go so long without checking your phone, so I think I was justified in being concerned.” She smiled even while rolling her eyes in response. “Anyways,” Ruslan continued, “are you saying you didn't get enough if a workout this morning? Needed another one so soon?”

“No, just needed some fresh air. I still haven't found the time to unpack and the apartment's a little cramped.” _And lonely_ , she added to herself.

“Well, you're welcome to come keep me company any time. It's not like I have any more room, but I would call it cozy more than cramped. Or I could come over sometime and help you get settled. You know, unpack boxes, hang shelves, move furniture.” Elena swore he flexed his arm saying that last one. “Whatever you need!”

“Thanks for the offer,” she laughed. “I’ll let you know, okay?”

“Sure. Of course. Have a good night, Elena.” She nodded and then turned toward her door as Ruslan headed down the stairs. But Elena only made it two steps before she stopped and turned back towards the stairwell. She wasn’t sure if his offer had just finally set in or if there had been something in the way he said her name that had caught her attention, but Elena was suddenly jogging to the stairs and leaning over the railing.

“Ruslan! Wait!” she yelled. He stopped and turned to look at her, a concerned expression on his face. “Can I take you up on that offer now?” His face immediately relaxed into a smile.

“Definitely!” Elena’s face lit up as she skipped down the steps, two at a time. By the time she reached Ruslan’s side, her numbness from earlier had been replaced by a nervous excitement. She had felt this way at practices the past two weeks, but she was starting to wonder if it had only been the skating that had made her feel that way. But now wasn’t the time to focus on that. Elena was just happy to be feeling something.

\------------------------------------------

“It’s a little messy. I wasn’t expecting anyone to come over,” Ruslan explained, opening the door to his apartment and leading Elena into the living room, sidestepping a small pile of laundry near the couch.

“This isn’t even bad. And at least it looks like someone lives here,” she responded, shrugging her shoulders.

He studied her closely. “I’m sorry you’ve had to change everything for this,” he finally said. “A new…well a new everything.”

“It’s a new start too. A clean break of sorts. At least that’s what I tell myself when I’m trying to feel optimistic,” Elena admitted. “I would think it has to be hard to be with the memories of the old rink every day.”

“Yeah,” he started hesitantly, “it’s been great working with you, but some mornings I do still find myself expecting to be skating with Vic… Yeah. Please tell me that wasn’t a stupid thing to say.”

“No, no, no. I know exactly what you’re talking about,” she assured Ruslan. “I don’t want to be skating with him anymore either, but muscle memory, I guess.”

“It’s a lot of time to forget.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, her eyes fixed on the floor.

“Well, this has been a fun topic,” he sighed. “Aren’t you glad you came over?”

“It’s fine,” she said with a tight smile as she looked back up at him. “I’m sure we understand each other, but we just haven’t had a chance to talk about all this yet.”

“And we definitely will. But not today. I’m supposed to be making you feel more at home here, and so far I am failing. So let’s start over,” he said stepping back the door and then walking back into the room again. “I apologize for the mess. I wasn’t expecting anyone. Do you want anything to drink, or, I assume you ate dinner?” Elena’s stomach growled in response before she even had a chance to shake her head.

“My walk lasted longer than I expected and I completely forgot about eating,” she admitted.

“This is exactly why I was trying to get ahold of you earlier. Here, I have leftovers I can heat up for you,” he said, grabbing a pan and turning on the stove. Elena walked over to help, but Ruslan waved her away. “Sit,” he insisted, gesturing to the chair at the counter, before gently adding “If you want to.” Elena smiled at his apologetic expression but made no move to stand back up.

“I appreciate it.” She waited until he had returned to getting dinner together before asking the obvious. “So you cook?”

“Yeah, I mean, I like to eat and if I’m not cooking then no one else is going to. Why? Is that weird?”

“No, of course not. It’s just…” she trailed off. ”Not everyone does.”

“Well, you’ll get to be the judge on how good I actually am. I don’t usually cook for other people,” he said, grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge and tossing one over the counter into Elena’s outstretched hand.

“Let me get my notes ready then,” she laughed.

\------------------------------------------

“How is it?” Elena looked up from her half-finished plate, a pointless game show on the television filled in the background noise as the two of them sat side-by-side on the couch.

“It’s excellent. Talking down your cooking abilities was certainly uncalled for.”

“Thanks,” he smirked. “I just didn’t want you to be disappointed.” She could feel that he was talking about more than the food and this time it was her turn to change the conversation.

“Well, I’m really enjoying this. But the only thing I think it could use would be ketchup,” she said trying to keep a straight face. Ruslan stared at her in total disbelief.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“What? My 10-year-old self had a thing for crushed tomato paste on everything,” she said giggling between every word. ”And I still haven’t quite outgrown that.”

“But really? Ketchup?” Elena nodded. “Well, you know, I thought this partnership was going well, but that may be a deal breaker. I just don’t think I can work with someone who likes ketchup,” he said, keeping a completely serious expression up until the last word when he finally lost it and started laughing. Once Ruslan started laughing, Elena let go too, and soon they were both gasping for air between laughs.

Finally, they both calmed down long enough for Elena to finish eating. She picked up her plate and started to head to the sink before Ruslan stood up.

“Here, let me get that,” he offered holding his hand out to take her plate.

“No. You have done plenty today. I can wash a dish, I promise.” Once the plate and silverware were washed and added to the drying rack on the counter, Elena wandered back into the living room and flopped back onto her seat on the couch. Another stupid game show had replaced the one from earlier and she knew Ruslan couldn’t really be paying as much attention as he appeared to be.

“So you think this partnership is going well?” she asked cautiously. “Or was that part of the joke too?” Ruslan sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Of course I think it’s going well. Come on, Elena. You’re beautiful, confident, and an amazing skater.”

“Except I hardly even feel like that person anymore,” she whispered.

“Trust me, you are. You’re a powerhouse. And even more than that,” he stuttered, “I really like skating with you. I look forward to every day that I get to spend working with you, however long this may last. I want to be the best I can be…no…I want to be the best for you. That’s what you deserve. What you’ve always deserved. To be treated like the champion you are.”

“It’s not like I would have been a champion on my own though.”

“That’s not the point. It’s still your victory. Him being a jerk doesn’t change that.”

Elena looked ready to disagree again but stopped herself. “You’re too nice,” she responded instead.

“Maybe. But maybe you’re being too hard on yourself lately, because I’d still argue everything I just said is true.” They both sat in silence for a moment, accompanied only by the sound of the game show audience.

“Well, I should probably head out, you know, before my head gets too big to fit out the door.” He laughed and stood up to walk her out. Before he could even think of it, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her head against his chest. He hugged her back.

“Thanks again for tonight.”

“No problem.” She started to pull away but he held onto her a moment longer.

“You are a champion, Elena. Don’t forget that,” he said into her ear. He then pulled away and she headed toward the hallway before suddenly turning back around.

“And I am still looking to take you up on the second part of your offer.” In response to his confused expression, she added, “You know, the one where you offered to help with my apartment?”

“Oh that. For sure! We have Wednesday afternoon off if you didn’t have anything else planned that day?”

“Nope. That’s perfect for me.”

“Great.”

“Well, see you in the morning.”

“Just don’t bring any ketchup and maybe we can try to salvage this partnership,” he joked. “Good night, Elena.”

“Good night, Ruslan.” She heard the door finally closed once she reached the end of the hallway. She smiled to herself before heading up the stairs.

 _You are a champion_. She had forgotten that. It was nice to be reminded.

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

**Wednesday, April 23, 2014**

Elena heard a gentle knocking at the door.

Elena stopped for a moment in front of the full length mirror that sat propped up against the wall in her bedroom. She fixed a stray hair that had escaped her ponytail and took in her full reflection. Understated makeup, simple outfit. She looked put together, but hopefully not overdressed for an afternoon of working on her apartment. Satisfied with her appearance, Elena crossed the living room and opened the door.

“Ready to get going on this apartment?” Ruslan asked, inviting himself into the small living room.

“Well, someone's eager. Mustn't be working hard enough at practice,” Elena quipped.

“The opposite actually. Practices this week have been so great, I can't help being this excited all the time!” Elena laughed at his serious answer to her joke, but she also had to agree. The new training environment had been great from the start, but since dinner two nights earlier, working with Ruslan had suddenly clicked. They were getting along better. They were communicating better. And even in just two days, there had been a noticeable improvement in their synchronization on the ice. Elena was feeling much more comfortable at practices as well. She was laughing and smiling with her partner, and she had even started voicing her opinion again while falling into the leader position. Ruslan, for his part, seemed more than happy to let her take charge whenever she wanted to. She knew her technical skills were better than his, but she was still shocked at how okay he was with following and supporting her.

It had been toward the end of practice the day before when Elena had gently pointed out what Ruslan was messing up on a step sequence in which he was struggling to keep up with her. She had felt herself stiffen the moment she said something, preparing for the fight. _No, I'm not doing it wrong. You're doing it wrong!_ But instead Ruslan had leaned over to whisper in her ear, “Only the best,” before grabbing her hands and setting to run the step again with her correction in mind.

“Elena?”

“What? Oh, sorry. But yeah, the past few days have been good, haven't they,” she quickly recovered. “Anyways though. Let's not waste all the enthusiasm and maybe try to make some progress on this apartment.”

\------------------------------------------

Two hours later, they had certainly made some progress. They had decided to start with getting everything unpacked, and specifically that had started with the living room as that's where there were the fewest boxes. That task completed, they had moved on to the bedroom.

“Wow,” he breathed, surveying the number of boxes stacked up all over the bedroom. There was barely enough room to squeeze through the tiny path from the door to the bed. “This is a lot of stuff.”

“I know. I was thinking we could start with clothes? That should honestly be the majority of these.”

“Works for me,” Ruslan responded. They set up a system where he would cut open boxes and pull things out and then hand them to her so she could put them away where she wanted. They emptied box after box after box like this until all the clothes were put away. Then Ruslan noticed a final sweatshirt shoved into a box that appeared to also contain the contents of several drawers.

“I swear I handed you a sweatshirt exactly like this just a second ago,” he said, handing it to her. “Looks several sizes too big anyw-“ he stopped short finally noticing Elena's expression looking at the sweatshirt in her lap. “That’s because it's...”

“Yeah.” _Great. Now he thinks I'm completely insane, getting emotional about some clothes_. But it wasn't just that it was Nikita's sweatshirt; it was that she could remember the exact moment that she had taken it and she couldn’t help going back to it.

Elena remembered waking up in the cold hotel room the Monday after Europeans as Nikita finally moved his arm and pushed himself up to sitting on the edge of the bed. He had barely spoken to her since she had fallen during their free dance, but then he had gotten extremely handsy during the banquet the night before and she had agreed to come back up to his room. But it had been all about him. He had kissed her hungrily and had looked at her the same way as he had hiked her dress up above her hips almost the moment the door closed. When they had made it to the bed, he had been rough and demanding, focused on only himself. Sure they had only recently been ending up in bed together again, but none of the other times had been anything like this. He had finished first and then, paying no attention to the fact that she was nowhere close, passed out with his arm draped heavily over her stomach, dress shirt from the banquet still on. With his arm pinning her in place, she hadn't been able to get up or at least grab the blankets from the bottom of the bed. She hadn't even been able to adjust her dress, which was bunched up around her middle. 

Nikita had turned to look at her, obviously aware that she was awake, but instead of saying anything, he grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom to change. Then he had mumbled something about going to eat and how he would see her in the lobby before they headed to the airport and then she was alone.

Elena had sat up, finally able to pull the blanket up to her chin. _Shit. Now what?_ Being left alone in someone else's hotel room and exhausted from a night of terrible sex and very little sleep, and with only a wrinkled cocktail dress to wear back to her own room was not ideal. She had eventually climbed out of bed, picked up her bra off the floor, and put it back on before sliding the straps on her dress back up over her shoulders. She smoothed her dress back down and momentarily considered not even bothering to look for her thong before she noticed it, tangled in the sheets at the edge of the bed. She rubbed her bare arms, still cold from sleeping without blankets all night. She looked at Nikita's suitcase sitting in front of her, glanced back at the door, then opened the bag and pulled out the closest clean-looking sweatshirt she could find. But as she had yanked on the sleeve, a small box of condoms that had been sitting on top of everything else, spilled to the floor. “Really?” She remembered yelling to no one, cursing the entire morning. She picked up the mess, closed the suitcase, and put on his sweatshirt before checking herself in the mirror. She had wiped away some smudged eyeliner, put her hair up in a bun, grabbed her heels from the floor, and headed into the hallway.

Elena remembered that Nikita had continued to not speak to her for most of the day; that is until they arrived home and he made sure to turn the charm back on. She had told him that she borrowed a sweatshirt that morning and that she would return it after she washed it, but somehow that had never happened. It wasn’t even like that had been the last time they had spent the night together-

“Elena?”

“What? Oh, sorry...again.”

“You're awfully distracted today, young lady. Could it possibly have anything to do with the handsome young man sitting in your bedroom?” Ruslan joked. Elena made a face, then grabbed a stuffed teddy bear that was sitting on her bed and threw it at Ruslan's face. He ducked just in time. “Hey! We're supposed to be cleaning things up, not making more of a mess!”

“Then do something about it and start handing me things out of the next box.”

“Well, it looks like you emptied several drawers into this one. There's a bit of everything. Pens, post-its, CDs, jewelry -broken jewelry-, spare laces, and a full spectrum of skate guards. We've got pink, green, blue, black-well only one black I guess...” Ruslan trailed off, realizing the black skate guard in his hand was obviously a different size than the others.

Elena exhaled heavily. “How? How does this happen?” she questioned, grabbing the skate guard from his hand and shaking it to emphasize her words. “How the hell did I end up with his fucking skate guard?” Ruslan carefully took the skate guard back from her, and then dropped everything back into the box before reaching for a smaller box on his other side.

“Let's work on something different. Do you have a place for this stuff?” he asked, indicating the collection of lotions, perfumes, and nail polishes he was now holding.

“I did,” Elena laughed humorlessly gesturing to a small, oddly positioned shelving unit against the wall. Ruslan realized it looked odd because the bottom was completely broken. It was empty except for a small amount of make-up balanced precariously on the corner. “Casualty of the move. Pretty indicative of my life right now. A mess. Ugh, I packed everything up so fast I had no idea how much of his stuff I had.”

“What do you say let's get out of here for a while?” he offered, pulling himself to his feet.

“Really? Have we actually accomplished enough to warrant a break?”

“That doesn't matter. We both need some fresh air and you need a new shelving unit. We can go out and get one now so we still end up being productive while being out.”

Elena considered for a moment before saying, “When you put it like that.” She stood up from her spot on the bed and maneuvered her way past the remaining boxes and towards the door. She picked up her purse from where she had left it on the floor before turning back to look at Ruslan. “Let’s go.”

\------------------------------------------

“So we could put together a shelf, don't you think?” Ruslan continued their conversation from the car as he led the way into the furniture store.

“Oh of course. I just won't plan to use said shelf for a couple months,” Elena responded feeling like she was only half joking.

“Hey, which one of us are you taking a dig at?” he asked pretending to take offense to her comment. “Cause I'm just planning to follow your lead, and then I'm sure we'll be good.”

“I thought that only applied to skating? Because I mostly meant that I can’t do this. I was going to let you take the lead here.”

“Oh like there's anything you're not good at.” Before Elena had a chance to answer, Ruslan spotted what he had been looking for. “Here, shelves are over this way Lena,” he said as he reached out and grabbed her hand and began pulling her toward the correct aisle. Except he hadn't just grabbed her hand. He had instinctively laced his fingers with hers. Elena stopped, staring at her hand in his. Sure they held hands all the time at practice, but holding hands in order to dance together was entirely different than holding hands, just because it felt comfortable, in public in the middle of a furniture store. Ruslan suddenly dropped her hand. She looked up just in time to see a moment of disappointment on his face before he ran his fingers through his hair, smiled, and shoved in his hand in his pocket. He repeated himself, “Shelves are over this way Elena.” She smiled back, feeling slightly embarrassed, but followed him through the store.

Thirty minutes later and countless trips up and down the same aisle, Elena and Ruslan has finally decided on a shelf. Unfortunately, they had not decided on the same shelf.

“Ruslan, I really think this one will be fine,” she said, pointing to a box with a picture of a simple, white shelf on it. “It will fit well in my room and still has plenty of space for everything.”

Ruslan shook his head, and pointed to a different box with a picture of a much larger wood-toned shelf. “No, this one is much better.”

“What happened to letting me lead and make decisions?”

“Eh, maybe we should just leave that to the skating. Because this is the shelf you need,” he answered confidently.

“But it's too big! It will barely even fit in my room,” she protested.

“It's the same size as the broken one,” he said, resting his hands on her shoulders. “Trust me.”

 _I do._ She pretended to consider for a moment. “You'll help me put it together if I pick this one?”

“Of course!”

“Fine then. Let's go with it. But don't go getting used to getting your way all the time.”

“Wouldn't dream of it,” he said reaching for the box.

\------------------------------------------

“You really don't have anything in this kitchen, do you?” Ruslan asked searching through empty cabinet after empty cabinet.

“Not true. I have fruit. And I have breakfast smoothies. And I have-“

“A bottle of champagne,” he said, slamming the last empty cabinet close and turning around to face the living room, his hands resting on the counter behind him. “That is literally it.”

“Well, I haven't had a chance to get to the store I guess,” she said, slightly embarrassed. “And the champagne was a gift, from before Worlds, so I'm not sure that even counts as being mine.” Ruslan looked closer at the bottle he had left sitting on the counter next to him, noticing that there was a notecard around the neck.

 

 _Lena & Nikita,_  
 _Good luck at Worlds!_  
 _(Just in case you have a reason to celebrate when you get home.)_

 

“Well, I would suggest you throw this out, but I can't justify wasting it all. So what I'm thinking is we should drink this tonight so you can get rid of the bottle as soon as possible.”

“Does champagne really go with shelf building?”

“Guess we'll find out.” He paused for a moment before quietly adding, “We could also say that we are celebrating ourselves.”

She looked him and then jumped up from the couch. “Now that I can get behind,” she responded enthusiastically as she joined him in the kitchen to find glasses. “I’m not sure I can support impaired shelf building, but I'd love to toast to a solid start to a new partnership.” Elena set two glasses on the counter before taking the bottle from Ruslan. She popped it open with little difficulty, noting the impressed look on his face. She filled both glasses, handing one to him and taking the other for herself.

“To…never ditching each other because we both know how shitty that feels?” he suggested.

“To many years together and more gold medals than those who shall not be named,” she amended. He nodded and touched his glass to hers. They both took a drink and as the bubbles hit her lips she realized that she had been dreading opening this bottle because what it was intended to celebrate had never happened. But she also realized there was no one else she would rather be sharing this moment with.

\------------------------------------------

“Those pieces definitely don’t fit together,” Elena critiqued from her spot on the floor next to the mostly completed shelving unit. Elena had been right; it was much larger than the old broken shelf. It blocked the door in her bedroom, so they had set it up awkwardly against the main wall in the living room. Putting together the actual shelf itself had gone extremely well (minus one wobbly base post), but Ruslan had been stuck on the drawer of the unit for almost an hour. The smaller shelf Elena had preferred hadn’t had a drawer, and she was sure to bring that up as frequently as possible. “And shouldn’t putting things together be easy for you?”

“It would be if any of these pieces made sense! This one has three different letters on it.” The fact that they were both on their third glass of champagne also wasn’t doing them any favors in the shelf construction department.

“Well, here. Look at the instructions again!” She tossed the small packet of papers in his direction but missed by a terrible margin.

“Screw the instructions!” Ruslan mimed tossing papers up in the air even though the instructions still sat on the floor several feet to his right. “You wanted a drawer and you will get a drawer.”

“Actually, I believe you were the one who wanted a drawer. I was fine with the other shelf-“

“Just shush for a minute Lena. I can do this.” She fought back a smile. He was cute when he was frustrated about trying to get something just right.

“Only the best?” she asked, a smile spreading across her face. He looked up from the drawer pieces in front of him.

“Only the best,” he agreed before returning to drawer assembly. After a few minutes, Ruslan stood up holding something that looked mostly like a drawer, although maybe not perfectly square. He walked over to the shelf, lined up the edges, and wedged the drawer into place. “DONE,” he declared. Elena also stood up. She moved to stand in front of the shelf. She reached out her hand to grab the drawer handle, and pulled. Nothing happened. She tried again but the drawer would not budge.

“Very useful,” she joked.

“Lena. It’s decoration,” he said, moving to stand in front of her. “You didn’t want a drawer so you didn’t need the space. Now you have the look of a drawer but without the convenience of an actual drawer. It looks nice but you don’t have to stress about what to keep in-“

She placed her hands on his shoulders. “It’s perfect. Really.”

“Well, then,” Ruslan said, stepping back to drain the last of his drink, “I should probably go, as it is later than I expected it to be.” He placed his glass on the end table and pulled Elena into a hug.

“Thank you. For all your help today,” Elena said into his chest. He pulled away slightly to look at her.

“We still have a lot to do.”

“Then I’m looking forward to more days like today.” He laughed as he pulled her back into a tight embrace. He then kissed the top of her forehead before heading to the door and out into the hallway without another word. A moment later there was a knock at the door. Elena opened it to find a rather embarrassed looking Ruslan staring back at her.

“I believe I left my phone and my jacket here. And I should have offered to help you get rid of all the trash. And I probably also should have said good night.”

“Well, come in. It’s been so long,” she said opening the door wider to allow him to walk past her. “The trash is no big deal. I’ll get you to help me with it tomorrow. I see your phone on the couch and I’m guessing your jacket is still in my room.” She followed him to her bedroom where they both noticed his jacket draped over the footboard of her bed. They also both reached for it all the same moment, leading him to accidentally grab her hand instead of the fabric. She looked at their hands and then up at him. She held eye contact with him, extremely aware of the weight of his hand on hers, until he started to lean in toward her. She turned her head quickly to the side, briefly closing her eyes.

“Sorry,” he awkwardly apologized, leaning back and pulling his hand away quickly. She looked at him again as she handed him the jacket feeling a bit lost for words. She hated that he seemed to feel that she was rejecting him when he hadn’t even offered anything in the first place, but, whether it was because of the time or the alcohol, she couldn’t think of much to say. She didn’t know how to explain that just a month ago she had thought things were better than ever with her former dance partner only to discover that he was finding a new partner behind her back. It was just too easy to screw this up.

“Don’t. It’s not you. It just…partners…and drama…and…moving too fast.” Her head was spinning and she suddenly felt it necessary to add the way Ruslan was looking at her right now to the list of possible reasons why.

“You’re right, of course you know best. Well, I’m going to attempt to actually make it home this time. And I will leave you with a proper good night this time.” He looked at her, almost like he was looking through her. “Good night, Lena.”

“Good night.” And he was gone. She waited, but didn’t hear another knock. If he forgot something again, he would probably just live without whatever it was. She held a hand to her forehead. _What the hell am I thinking? Am I so caught up in making this partnership work that I’m actually destroying it from the start?_ She picked up the two empty glasses and carried them into the kitchen. She then picked up the empty champagne bottle and fought off the overwhelming urge to smash it against the cheap tile floor.

\------------------------------------------

Elena sat perched on the edge of her bed, in her tiny single bedroom, of her tiny new apartment. She was still holding the empty champagne bottle although she couldn’t really explain why. It felt like the notecard was laughing at her. Suddenly she stood up and grabbed one of the empty boxes that was still sitting on the floor. She placed the bottle in the bottom of the box. Then she grabbed Nikita’s sweatshirt and threw in the box too. And Nikita’s skate guard. And the broken necklace. She remembered his chain had broken the last time he spent the night. He had coiled it up on her nightstand before they fell asleep, but then he had never come back to get it. So it had ended up in her box during the move. She then opened a drawer and pulled out a leather jacket that she had borrowed years ago, back when they were dating. It didn’t fit him anymore so he had let her keep it. She tossed it in the box as well. She continued like this, going through her entire room, until everything that reminded her of Nikita was in the box.

Except for one thing. She held a small jewelry bag in her hand. She opened the drawstring and dumped a silver charm bracelet into her palm. It had four charms. The oldest, a small, silver figure skate, hung over the edge of her palm, its weight slowly pulling the bracelet down toward the box. Elena watched it until, at the last moment, she hooked her thumb through the chain and returned the bracelet safely to its bag. She carried it out to the living room, where, with a lot of effort, she wedged the new shelving unit’s broken drawer open just far enough to fit the bracelet. Then she wedged the drawer shut again.

She returned to her bedroom with every intention to take the box out to the living room to sit with the rest of the trash that need to be taken out tomorrow, but the bracelet had taken away her resolve. Instead she folded up the edges of the box and pushed it across the room and as far under her bed as it would go. _It’s better than nothing_ , she thought, although she wasn’t really sure if this was accomplishing anything or not.

Emotionally and physically exhausted, Elena changed into sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt and climbed into bed. She expected to be stuck awake, staring at the wall for a while, but instead she felt herself fading quickly. Although it was worth noting, that just as she slipped into sleep, the cold, blue eyes that had been haunting her dreams the last few weeks were replaced by a pair of warm, brown eyes. And before that could even sink in, Elena had fallen into a dream where the boy those eyes belonged to wanted to hold her hand in public in the middle of a furniture store. But this time she wasn’t going to let him let go.


	2. Do You Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but it's update! Felt inspired to write a chapter focusing more on fluff than angst, so hope everyone enjoys!

**Friday, April 25, 2014**  
  
Ruslan sat on the bench at the rink, hunched over to tighten up the laces on his skates. He looked up at the large clock on the wall. _Two more minutes and Elena will be here_ , he thought. _Or maybe I should give her an extra five since it is her birthday_. With that thought he automatically reached down to touch the gift bag on the floor next to his foot. Just as he was finishing lacing up his other skate, he heard the door behind him open, and without even turning around he knew it had to be Elena.  
  
Despite living in the same apartment building, Ruslan and Elena always came to practices and workouts separately. Ruslan always left home first, which he joked was because he needed the extra weight lifting time. And while that wasn't exactly a lie, he also knew that the real reason had more to do with the fact that he was extremely wary of moving too fast. Asking if she wanted to drive together had seemed a little too forward when she first moved in, and even after spending time together outside of practice this past week, it still didn't seem right.  
  
Elena sat down next to him on the bench and smiled, her face slightly flushed from her morning run. "Good morning," she said cheerily.  
  
"Good morning," he answered, reaching for the gift bag and the flowers he had stopped for on his way that morning. "And happy birthday," he said handing her the presents. He hadn't thought it was possible for her to smile any wider, but she did.  
  
"Thank you," she said, sliding across the small bench to hug him. "The flowers are beautiful. But you really didn't have to get me anything. I know my birthday came up pretty quickly."  
  
"Of course I wanted to get you something," he assured her. "Besides, maybe I just did it so you would owe me.” He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “I mean, I put something together in just two weeks. You've got five months to figure out what you're getting me," he said with as serious of an expression as he could manage. _Assuming we’re still together in five months_ , he added silently. _But I think we will be._  
  
She smiled again. "I'll keep that in mind," she said slowly. "Well, I have to go get ready so do you mind if I open this later? I promise I'll thank you again once I see how amazing it is."  
  
"It's your gift," he laughed. "You can open it whenever you want."  
  
Elena stood up. "I just have a good feeling about today, you know? Everything's supposed to go right on your birthday, isn't it?"  
  
"For you? Absolutely," he answered, pleased to see that had earned him yet another smile before she finally turned toward the locker room.  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
Later that day, as was typical for a Friday afternoon, Ruslan walked from his car to the main doors of his apartment building. What wasn't typical, at least as of recently, was that he was walking alone. Despite driving separately to practice, he and Elena always made a point of meeting up to walk from their cars to their respective apartments together. He couldn't remember how it had started, but when they would met up on the sidewalk, they would act like they hadn't just spent the entire morning together. Yesterday, he had asked her how she was and if she'd read any good books lately. And she had asked if he'd seen any good movies and if he thought the rain would be gone by the weekend. Like two old friends unexpectedly running into each other. He smiled to himself while walking because he liked thinking about her like that. Even though she wasn't there today.  
  
Practice had ended with a short celebration in honor of Elena's birthday, before she'd had to hurry home for a birthday dinner with her family. She still hadn't had a chance to open his present, but she promised she would open it that night. She wouldn’t be back until Sunday, after yet another birthday dinner with her friends on Saturday. He opened the door of his building and was just starting up the stairs, reminding himself for the twentieth time that it did not matter that she hadn't invited him this weekend, _it has only been a few_ _weeks and we haven’t even received approval_ ,when his phone rang. Ruslan dug his phone out of his pocket, swiped to answer, and said, "Lena?"  
  
"Rus! Hi!" Elena responded breathlessly.  
  
"Is everything alright? Shouldn't you be on your way home now?" he asked, trying not to sound overly concerned.  
  
"Yeah, I should. But I'm still at the rink. I'm running further behind." Ruslan laughed. He was sure that before Elena he had never met someone who was so good at meeting important deadlines but so bad at making it to a casual meet up on time.  
  
"Well what's going on?"  
  
"Um, well I can't believe I didn't think to ask this earlier and I totally understand if you're busy because I know this is crazy last minute,” she said very quickly, “but if you aren't doing anything tomorrow I would really like it if you could come to my party."  
  
"No, I'm not doing anything,” he said, now trying not to sound too eager. “I would really like to be there."  
  
"Great! Really. You have no idea how happy that makes me. But I've really got to get going now. So late. Is it alright if I just text the address to you?"  
  
"That works for me,” he said as he walked from the stairs towards his apartment.  
  
"Okay. Well talk to you later!"  
  
"Yeah, bye!" He ended the phone call and waited just a moment longer in front of his door before grabbing his key and unlocking it.  
  
 _She does want me there_ , he thought. _Shit, and I worried for nothing_.He smiled in spite of himself as he opened the door and entered his living room.  
  
\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---  
  
 **Saturday, April 26, 2014**  
  
Ruslan sat in his car _. What is there to be nervous about_ , he asked himself. _It's just Elena. And Elena's friends. A lot of Elena's friends_. He shook his head and finally stepped out of the car. The group of people waiting outside was obvious, but even surrounded by so many people, Elena stood out. At hearing him slam the car door shut she turned to face where he was standing. She smiled and hurried out towards him as he started walking to her. Ruslan would say she always looked beautiful, even in workout clothes at the end of a tough practice, but walking towards him now in a full length orange dress, she looked absolutely stunning. As she pulled him into a hug, he noticed she was wearing the bracelet he had given her yesterday. "I'm so glad you were able to make it," she said, her face close enough to his that he could feel her breath against his ear.  
  
"Me too," he answered, pulling away, so that he could be less aware of the smell of her perfume mixed with the usual flowery scent of her shampoo. "Wait," he said noticing that she was close to eye level with him, "you got taller since yesterday?"  
  
"Heels, silly," she said, lifting her foot to show off 4 inch heels.  
  
"Huge heels," he responded, eyes widening.  
  
"Come on," she laughed, grabbing his hand. "Come meet everyone."  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
Ruslan smiled and nodded as Elena introduced him to everyone. He was sure that even under normal circumstances there was no way he would have been able to remember all the names and faces, but this was especially true now because Elena still had not let go of his hand. Once he had met everyone, she led him back to where she had been standing when he got there. She picked up his arm to drape it across her shoulders as she continued the conversation she had walked away from to greet him.  
  
"Okay, go on," Elena said to the girl in front of her. "Your terrible date last night." The girl, a tall blonde, _maybe her name had started with a K_ , looked at them strangely for a split second before launching into a full play-by-play of her date from the previous night. Ruslan tried to pay attention but Elena was close enough to him that he could smell her perfume and shampoo again. He could also feel the warmth of her seeping through his shirt and he was extremely aware of how her fingers felt interlaced with his and the way she would occasionally rub her thumb against the back of his hand. Periodically she would nod enthusiastically at the girl's story and this would cause her hair to brush against his cheek.  
  
Just then, another girl walked over and grabbed Elena's arm. "We should take some pictures, Lena. You know, while it's still light and before anyone's hair gets too messed up."  
  
"Of course!" Elena agreed, before shooting a sad look to Ruslan over her shoulder as she let herself be pulled away from him. He mimicked her expression which made her smile. Ruslan walked a bit behind and then waited through several different groups of pictures until suddenly someone pushed him toward Elena.  
  
"We need a picture of the new ice dance partners," the person behind him declared.  
  
"Oh, I was going to suggest that too," Elena responded as Ruslan walked over and stood somewhat awkwardly next to her.  
  
The girl taking the picture lowered her phone and gave them both a look. "Really?" she asked. "That's the picture you want?"  
  
"At least act like you like each other," someone else added.  
  
Ruslan looked over to see Elena looking at him. She shrugged her shoulders with a slight smile. They continued to look at each other as he wrapped his right arm around her waist and held onto her arm with his left hand.  
  
"Much better," the girl taking the picture announced, causing them both to quickly look at the camera. "I'll just save this for you to use in your engagement announcements." Everyone laughed and the picture was snapped.  
  
"You'll send those to me?" Elena asked the girl, seeming to ignore the engagement comment even though he knew she had heard it. "My Instagram desperately needs to be updated," she added, turning back to smile at Ruslan and take hold of his hand again.  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
The sun had just set when Ruslan told Elena that he should probably be headed home.  
  
She nodded. "Okay. I can walk out to your car with you," she said. She took his hand as they walked outside in silence. It was Elena who broke the silence after a minute by asking, "You know what Katya asked me?"  
  
Ruslan had no idea which one Katya was but he assumed it didn't matter in the context of the question. "What?" he asked.  
  
"She asked how we started dating so fast," Elena answered simply.  
  
Ruslan laughed, holding up their tightly grasped hands. "Wonder what could have given her that idea?"he said, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. _Am I supposed to feel weird about that?_ he asked himself. _Because I don’t._ What he really wanted to know was how she had felt about it.  
  
Before he had a chance to find the words to ask what he wanted to ask, Elena looked at him and then her eyes traveled down to their hands. "Oh," she exclaimed. "I forgot to thank you once I opened my presents!"  
  
"It's fine," he assured her. "I take it you like the bracelet?" he asked looking at her wrist.  
  
"I love it," she answered, twisting the silver band with her free hand. "And the nail polish. I can't believe you remembered that I said I like-"  
  
"-to paint your nails crazy colors whenever they don't have to be competition ready?" he finished for her. She smiled, letting their hands fall back to their sides as she leaned her head against his shoulder. They walked the last few steps to his car and then she let go of his hand and turned around to face him.  
  
"Thank you again for coming today," she said. "It means a lot."  
  
"Thanks for inviting me," he answered. "And happy birthday again," he said leaning over to kiss her cheek.  
  
She looked to the side for a moment and sighed before looking back at him. She shifted her weight, clearly wanting to say something.  
  
He could tell she was disappointed about something as he met her gaze. “What?” he finally asked.  
  
"It is my birthday," she stated. "And I'm not your grandmother." Before he had a chance to say anything to that, Elena took a step forward to close the space between them, placed her hand on the back of his neck, and kissed him. It caught Ruslan by surprise, but he kissed her back, soft at first but then harder. He let his hand rest on her hip just as she slowly pulled away. His shadow was blocking the light from a street lamp, so he could barely see her face but he knew she was looking at him just the same. Then she looked away and started to head back toward the party.  
  
"See you later," she said, pausing briefly to give his hand one last squeeze.  
  
"Bye," he answered, barely above a whisper. He climbed into his car as she walked away. _I don't know_ , he thought. _If this is her idea of not moving too fast, maybe taking things slow isn't so bad after all._ Sure, he was confused. But in just a few short weeks he had gotten used to feeling that way around Elena. And somehow, because of her, it definitely wasn't a bad feeling.


	3. The Brilliant Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a flashback, so it's a different dynamic than the first chapters. Hoping everyone still enjoys the story and I PROMISE, cute and adorable Ruslena will be back in Chapter 4!

**Monday, December 25, 2013**  
  
Elena sniffled and tried her best to fight back the tears welling up in her eyes. _Oh dammit, not here. Not now. Just hold it back for a few more minutes_. She sat in the middle of the Kiss and Cry, with Nikolai on her left and Nikita on her right. So far, neither one seemed to be aware of how close she was to losing it. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that Nikita was staring nervously straight ahead. As she followed his gaze, she could tell that he wasn't focusing on anything. As she looked, her eyes paused on the replay playing on the monitors. She saw their blades clash, she saw herself hit the ice, their lift completely missed. At that, the tears she had even working so hard to hold back started to fall. She quickly tried to wipe them away before anyone else would notice. She also grabbed a handful of tissues and shoved them in the pocket of her jacket for later. At the first tear she desperately wiped away, Nikolai finally noticed her. He placed his hand on her back, although she couldn't be sure if he was attempting to comfort her as her boyfriend or as her coach. Their relationship had never been easy, but lately they had hit a rough patch, and Elena had no idea what she was going to do about it. If she was being completely honest with herself, she wasn’t sure there _was_ anything she wanted to do about it.  
  
Finally the score was posted. 168.01 total. They would likely remain in second place. She could feel Nikita relax next to her as he let out the breath that he had been holding. Still out of the corner of her eye, she could see him turn toward her, but she couldn't turn to meet his eyes. Despite the score, she still had tears welling up in her eyes. She still was going to need to cry.  
  
Elena flashed the best smile she could manage and waved to the camera one last time before she stood up. Nikita stood up at the same time and put his arm around her shoulders as they walked. He leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Are you okay?" Elena shook her head and swallowed hard, unable to form any words without breaking down.  
  
Once they reached the hallway, she carefully shook off Nikita's arm and said, "I need to go to the bathroom before interviews." She then headed off without waiting for an answer from either her partner or her coach. Elena was almost to the bathroom when someone grabbed her hand and turned to see Nikita standing next to her. _How had he caught up to her that fast?_ She started to say something, but the words caught in her throat as tears started rolling uncontrollably down her cheeks.  
  
"In here," Nikita said, holding on to her hand tighter and pulling her into an empty dressing room. Just as he closed the door, she started sobbing. He pulled her into a hug, and she continued sobbing into his chest as he rubbed her back.  
  
After a minute or two, she stopped crying long enough to catch her breath.

"Is this all about the performance just now?" he asked. She nodded, her face still pressed against his jacket. "Because you know it's okay, right? The score could have been worse. It looks like we're still going to medal."  
  
"I know," she said, finally pulling away so that she could look at him. "It's just this was important. We needed to do so well. And then I screwed it up. So I was upset and I just couldn't make the tears stop."  
  
He gave her a slight smile. "It wasn't your fault. We screwed it up. But no one's Olympic dreams have been ruined yet, okay?"Elena had turned her attention to a spot on the floor next to her foot, but at that she looked back up at him sharply. _A pep talk?_ she thought. _When in the world was the last time he gave me a pep talk? And when was the last time he was willing to share the blame for something?_  
  
She watched as his smile slowly faded, probably in response to her puzzled expression. She shook her head and sighed before everything her sobbing had made impossible to say earlier came rushing out. "But even if we do still make it, all the negative comments are just going to start again. Everyone saying we suck. Everyone saying we don't deserve to be there. Everyone saying we shouldn't even be skating together." She paused for a second to take a breath, feeling tears stinging the corners of her eyes again.  
  
"Stop," he said, placing his hands on either side of her face. "Do any of the people saying that stuff matter?" When she didn't say anything, he shook her head for her. "Right," he answered himself. "They don't matter. You know we can do this and deserve a spot on the Olympic team. I know we can do this and deserve a spot on the Olympic team. That's what matters," he said suddenly dropping his hands to his sides as though he just realized that they were still touching her face. "Just you and me."

_It hasn’t been ‘just you and me’ in a long time_ , she wanted to burst out angrily, but the look in his eyes made her stop. He was looking at her in a way she knew he hadn’t looked at her in years and instead of the anger she a felt a second ago, she felt warm inside. She felt like she had the very first time he’d held her hand on the ice, like the first time he had hugged her excitedly without even consciously thinking that he should do that, like the first time he had kissed her as more than her dance partner. She quickly lowered her eyes to the floor. _This is not the time to be thinking about all of that_ , she scolded herself. Her cheeks were burning and he must have noticed.

But Nikita remained silent, and she knew he was waiting for her to say something. She finally nodded, still staring at the floor, before saying, “I know, you and me.” She looked up, and even with the butterflies in her stomach, she still wasn’t sure how she felt. She wanted to believe him because that would be easy, but even at their very best, being with Nikita had never made her feel at ease.  
  
Nikita suddenly blinked quickly and shifted his eyes toward the door. "We should get going," he said. Elena took a step backwards and tried unsuccessfully to wipe her smeared make up away, glad to have something other than her feelings for Nikita to focus on.  
  
"Here," Nikita said, pulling her hands away from her face. Elena sensed he was glad to have a distraction as well. "Do you have tissues?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah," Elena answered, reaching into her jacket pocket. As she pulled the tissues out, she also accidentally pulled out the small silver charm bracelet she always kept with her at competitions. She quickly shoved it back into her pocket, but she wasn't fast enough.  
  
"You still have that bracelet?" Nikita asked, obviously surprised but also with a slightly smug smile, as he took the tissues from her outstretched hand.  
  
"I do. Good luck charm." Elena paused briefly. "Might have I retire it after today though."  
  
"Maybe not so fast," Nikita suggested. "Now lift your chin up and look at me," he said holding her chin in his hand. With a tissue in his other hand, he carefully wiped the smeared mascara from under Elena's eyes.  
  
"There," he said, letting go of her chin, but not braking eye contact. "Do you trust that I did that right?" Elena slowly shook her head, her eyes still locked on his. Nikita laughed. "You can go check it in the mirror."  
  
Elena made her way to the other side of the dressing room and was surprised to see that her makeup did indeed look presentable. "Okay, you proved me wrong," she admitted heading back to the door.  
  
"Oh really? Can I get that in writing or something?"  
  
"Um, since you asked that, I'm going to go ahead and say no," she said with a reluctant smile.  
  
"Well it was worth it to see you smile," he said seriously. "Well are you ready to go say we have no idea what happened, that's never happened in practice, at least 50 times?" Nikita asked, his hand on the door.  
  
"Let's do this," Elena said confidently as she followed him out of the dressing room. She didn't even say anything when he put his arm around her waist.  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
It was late enough that the hotel was quiet as the elevator door opened in front of them. Nikita stepped into the hallway while Elena stayed in the elevator with her hand on the door open button, fighting back a fit of giggles. _Oh man, I did not realize I was this drunk_ , she thought. _I know we were celebrating, but still_.  
  
"Do it," she finally whispering loudly through her laughing.  
  
Nikita looked over her shoulder to smile at her before taking a deep breath and yelling, "We're going to the Olympics!"  
  
"Come on!" Elena managed to say through her laughter as Nikita turned around and ran back into the elevator. She hit the door close button and the doors closed behind him. They held on to each other, still both laughing, as the elevator continued up to her floor.  
  
They finally stopped laughing and their breathing returned to normal but Elena was still pressed against the wall of the elevator, while Nikita stood in front of her with his hands still around her waist. He stared at her and Elena felt confined in the small space. "Truth or dare," he finally asked, never breaking eye contact.  
  
Elena considered. She had picked truth her last two turns and she didn't wanted to seem like a coward, but she also was scared to find out what he would dare her to do at that moment. "Truth," she had just finally answered, picking what she hoped was the safer of the two options, when the elevator doors opened on her floor. She giggled as she slipped out of Nikita's hands and quickly walking down the hallway, her laughing fit returning.  
  
Elena stopped just short of her hotel room door and turned around to face Nikita as he caught up to her. As he reached her, his hands quickly found her waist again and he spun her around for a moment. As they stopped turning he looked at the door next to them.  
  
"Well, here's your room," he said. Then he paused for a moment and briefly closed his eyes as though something has just occurred to him. "I guess I mean, if you were even planning on sleeping here tonight," he added, dropping his hands to his sides and taking a step back.  
  
Elena reached out to touch his arm before saying, "I was." He lifted his eyes to meet her gaze. "I do still owe you a question though," she continued.  
  
"Truth?" he asked. Elena nodded. Nikita hesitated for a moment before asking, "Are you still attracted to me?"  
  
Elena exhaled sharply _. And this was supposed to be the safe option_ , she thought. "Right for the heavy hitters," she said as she looked closely into his eyes, trying to read his motivation for asking that question. She then slowly added, "Yes. I am."  
  
Nikita once again looked at her the way he had looked at her back in that dressing room after the Kiss and Cry, but this time, with lowered inhibitions, he didn't stop himself from leaning in to kiss her. Elena kissed him back as she pushed up onto her toes and her hand slid from his arm to his shoulder. His hands found her waist again, before he slid his right hand around to press firmly against the small of her back. Elena's lips parted and she allowed herself to be pressed closer against his chest, her other hand grasped at the fabric of his shirt. Nikita pulled away slightly. Elena opened her eyes to see him looking at her.  
  
"We probably shouldn't do this in the hallway," he whispered close to her face.  
  
"Right," Elena agreed, shaking her head slightly and reached for her purse. "My room?" she asked, digging through the pockets of her bag for her key. _Of course, the last pocket I check_ , she thought, pulling out the card as she looked back at Nikita.  
  
"Only if you want me to come in," he said, his fingers twitched at his side and he shifted his weight as he continued to stare at her.  
  
Elena turned back to the door, slide the key in and waited for the light to turn green. She knew for a fact that they were too drunk to be alone together right now. But she also knew that at that moment all she wanted was to be alone with him. She looked at him again as she turned the doorknob and opened the door.  
  
"I do," she said as she held the door open for him. As he walked past her she reached out and grabbed his hand. "I want you," she added as she pulled him into another kiss.  
  
Nikita braced himself with his hand pressed just above Elena's shoulder against the still open door. "This is still pretty much the hallway," he pointed out, his lips still almost touching hers. She smiled and pushed herself away from the door. He stepped backward, pulling Elena with him, as the door finally swung closed.  
  
They made their way across the hotel room, still tightly in each other's embrace, lips hungrily pressed together. Elena tossed her purse onto the desk, Nikita kicked his shoes off, and they fell onto the bed.  
  
The sex was drunk and sloppy, as evidenced by when they had both broken down laughing again over the complicated ordeal of unhooking her bra, but it was exactly what Elena had wanted after the day they'd had. It had also been comfortable being with Nikita again. All the time since they had last slept together disappeared as they had instinctively remembered where and how to touch each other. His mouth on her neck, her collarbones, her breasts, while his hand pressed between her legs, his fingers tugging her panties aside. Her hips pressed against his, as she dragged her nails down his back. Everything the way she remembered it.  
  
Nikita finished first but Elena wasn't far behind him, despite his constant talking and need for validation that he was doing well. She had remembered that also. But as Elena allowed him to pull her closer, and as she curled up against his chest, she couldn't help but feel that all of this had been too easy. Because nothing between them was ever this simple.  
  
\---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---  
  
 **Wednesday, January 8, 2014**  
  
Elena tossed her hair over her shoulder and then quickly pulled it back up into a bun as she skated along the boards. _Just a week until Europeans_ , she thought. _Where there's no reason we can't win, if we could just be on the same page for once_.  
  
She turned to look at Nikita as he skated up to her side, and she was about to attempt a halfhearted smile when he said, "You need to watch the twizzles."  
  
She reached out to grab the board and stop herself as she stared at him in disbelief. "I need to watch the twizzles?" she asked. "Are you actually being serious right now?"  
  
"Yes," he answered. "You're not staying with me at all." He paused for a moment before adding, "We've been over this before, Lena."  
  
"I know we have," she blurted out loudly before she had a chance to think about the volume of her voice. "Just like how we've been over how it's impossible to stay with you when you're all over the place," she added more quietly but just as determined.  
  
Nikita signed and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. "Do you want to get another opinion about it," he finally asked her.  
  
Elena looked over his shoulder at Nikolai standing talking to other students. She looked down at her hand as she began to pick at her fingernail. She had ended their relationship two days after they had gotten home from Nationals, and even though the relationship had really been over for weeks, officially ending it had made practices weird. She knew who he would agree with.  
  
"You would bring that up," she accused angrily, looking up at Nikita again. "Anything to win some stupid argument."  
  
"What? I just asked if you wanted someone else watch it," he said. "Oh, but I forgot you're always right so it doesn't matter anyways,” he snapped sarcastically, his voice angry with a hint of bitterness. He moved his hands from his hips to cross his arms in front of him.  
  
"I'm done," Elena said throwing her hands up in the air. "I am exhausted and I am done with this. You want me to stay with you on twizzles? Fine. I will match you so well, we will both look crazy and then maybe you can finally be happy," she continued, her face close to his, before she skated past him without waiting for what he had to say. _I knew it was too easy_ , she told herself. _I knew nothing with him could be that fucking easy_.

  
  
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 **Friday, January 31, 2014**  
  
Elena nervously drummed her fingers against the side of her cup of coffee as Nikita slid into the seat across the table from her. She was sure he could see the dark circles under her eyes as she had barely slept since texting him the night before to ask him to meet her for coffee before practice. _One of the last practices at home,_ she thought. _Which is why we have to talk now_ , she reminded herself. The two of them had barely spoken to each other since getting home from Europeans almost two weeks earlier, even at practices. This was the worst time to be going through the motions.  
  
Elena was just about to say something, when Nikita broke the silence by asking, "So what was it that you wanted to talk about?"  
  
"Well, considering we've barely said three words to each other in the last two weeks, I think it's pretty obvious we need to talk about what happened at the last competition," she said, refusing to break eye contact as she spoke.  
  
"I mean, we did talk about it at the time. That fall was unfortunate, but I screwed up things too, and-"  
  
"I wasn't talking about the performance," she said, cutting him off. "I was talking about the night after. When you left me alone in your hotel room." Based on his expression and the way he looked away as she talked, Elena could tell he had known what she meant from the start.  
  
"Yeah, that was wrong," he started slowly. "I don't know, I guess I'm not sure what to say about it so I haven't said anything." He shifted in his chair. "I know that night wasn't good for you and leaving without saying anything wasn't the right way to handle that, but it's not like there was an obvious solution. So the best I can do is say I'm sorry."  
  
"Oh," she said, blinking quickly, unsure how to respond. "I'm not sure what to say. I've been so worried about this conversation because I don't think I expected you to apologize."  
  
"Point taken. But we leave for the Olympics in a few days and I just want to be able to put this awkwardness behind us so that we can focus on that." He paused before adding, "I want to prove something."  
  
"I agree. I want us to prove something too."  
  
"Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?" he asked. Elena shook her head. "Good," Nikita continued, "because we're going to be late if we don't leave now."  
  
As the headed out the door, Elena attempted to force the recurring thought out of her mind. _That was too easy_.  
  
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 **Monday, February 17, 2014**  
  
Elena felt like she was completely surrounded by nothingness as she kneeled on the ice, her arms stretched out to the side, her breathing heavy. Then slowly, everything around her began to fill back in. The coldness of the ice beneath her knees. Nikita standing next to her. The bright blue boards around the edge of the rink. The people in the audience. Then the noise from the crowd hit her, and she was back in reality. She hadn't realized she was crying. Suddenly Nikita was hugging her and holding her face.  
  
"Thank you, thank you," was all she could manage to say, even though afterwards she couldn’t remember who she had been attempting to thank.  
  
It wasn't until Nikita helped her stand up that she realized he had kneeled down to hug her rather than help her up first. She held tightly onto his waist, because holding onto him helped remind her that this moment was real. They skated to the center of the ice and then to the kiss and cry. Nikita keep saying things to her but she couldn’t remember what. Everything felt so surreal.

Until the score was post. 110.44. This really was their moment. She reached out to hug Nikita. As he hugged her back, she could feel him still looking up at the score. _He can’t believe this is real either_ , she thought. _We’re Olympic medalists. Everything we’ve worked for has finally paid off_.

But all she could manage to say out loud, was “Wow,” over and over again. This achievement hadn’t felt too easy. This felt like they had worked for it. This felt like they deserved it.  
  
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 **Monday, March 17, 2014**  


Exactly one month after their Olympic free dance, Elena sat on one side of her couch while Nikita sat on the other, a mostly untouched plate of food balanced on the arm next to him. Monday night dinner had been their thing back when they were dating. Nikita was pretty hopeless in the kitchen, and Elena was always looking for chances to try out all the recipes her grandmother sent her. However, it was honestly kind of strange that, even with their crazy schedules the past month, they had so quickly fallen back into that old habit.  
  
"Is it okay?" Elena asking, nodding toward his plate.  
  
"Hmm?" He finally looked up from his phone, which he had been intently staring at for the past 5 minutes. "Oh yeah," he said following her gaze. "It's great. I'm just not that hungry." He looked at her seriously. “You don’t need to worry about me, alright?”  
  
Elena smiled. She knew they were both exhausted right now, and even though she loved being busy she was looking forward to a real vacation soon. A break longer than just the few days she would be spending at home that week. She scooted across the couch to lean against Nikita as she jokingly asked, "Already stressed out about how you're gonna miss me this week?".  
  
"That must be it," he laughed, lifting his arm to rest it over her shoulders.  
  
Elena expected him to say more, but he did usually get much quieter when he was tired. "It will be nice to be home. But I'll miss you," she continued. "And what ever will you do without me?"  
  
"Practice," he answered. "Like usual."  
  
"Good," she said. "Because we've got a World Championships to win." Nikita smiled at her, but once again, didn't add anything.  
  
Elena eventually got up and cleaned up the dishes from dinner. She then returned to the living room and leaned over the back of the couch, her arms resting on his chest.  
  
"Well, do you want to do something now? Or just head to bed?" she asked.  
  
He lifted his head to look at her standing behind him. "You're leaving early in the morning, right?" Elena nodded. "Then we can just head to bed." He stood up and turned to look at her. “And I think we could both use some sleep,” he added.

“Sure,” Elena agreed, but not very convincingly.  
  
"What’s the matter?" Nikita asked, full of his usual charm.

“It’s probably nothing,” Elena started, “but you just haven’t had much to say tonight and it’s been weird. I don’t know if we’ve just been so busy that I’m slowly losing my mind and getting paranoid or if I really am missing something.”

"Come here, Lena" he said with a small laugh as he held out his arms.  
  
“Don’t laugh at my rambling,” Elena said as she pouted slightly and then walked around the couch and into his embrace.  
  
"I wasn’t laughing at you," he said. "But really, everything’s fine. You're going to have fun for a few days. I'm going to miss you. But I'm also going to practice a lot. And then before we know it, you'll be back, and we'll be winning Worlds, and then we get to relive everything that's been so great about the past four weeks. Sound good?"  
  
She nodded against his chest. "Show them what we can do?" she asked.  
  
"I plan to," he said confidently.  
  
She leaned away so that he could kiss her and then she took ahold of his hand and led the way to her bedroom. She looked back at him fast enough to notice a final break in the charm as he checked his phone again. Then he powered it off completely and smiled as he reached over to brush a stray piece of hair from her forehead.

“I love you,” she said, pressing her cheek against his hand. It was an easy thing to say, especially after how amazing things had been between them the past month. _Maybe I can finally believe him now_ , she thought. _Maybe it’s truly this easy_.

Nikita leaned in to kiss her again. “Me too,” he whispered against her lips. “Of course I do.”


	4. Can't Turn Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, the long awaited Chapter 4! (Okay, it's been a long time, but I don't know if anyone has actually been waiting.) I know that this work has gotten a bunch of new hits since I last updated (which I really appreciate), so I hope everyone enjoys this newest update!

**Friday, May 23, 2014**  
  
Ruslan stepped into the living room, his hair still wet from the shower, to find Elena, who had gotten into the habit lately of stopping at his apartment after practices, still sitting in the exact same spot on the couch, flipping through yet another of her many fashion magazines. Not that he had any problem with the fact that she was spending as much time at his place as she did at her own. The two of them had been pretty near inseparable since returning from their vacations. On vacation Ruslan had been shocked to realize how much he missed his new partner. Elena had been rather quiet at their first practices, but it hadn't been long before he started to recognize the outgoing, opinionated girl he remembered from competitions only a few months prior. She wasn't someone you could walk away from and easily forget. _Except someone did_ , he thought. _And how he managed that might always be a mystery to me._  
  
“Have you moved at all in the last 20 minutes?” he asked.  
  
“Hmm?” she said looking up at him.  
  
“Nothing,” he laughed. But she continued to look at him with a contemplative expression. “What?” he asked. It was now his turn to feel like he had missed something.  
  
“Have you ever considered a different hairstyle?” she asked.  
  
“What's wrong with my hair?” he asked, running his hands self-consciously through his hair.  
  
“Nothing,” she assured him. “And I don't mean anything drastic. Maybe just a little shorter? Here, come sit,” she said standing up so she could take ahold of his hand and pull him to the couch.  
  
She practically pushed him into her now vacant seat and then stood in front of him, her face close to his. Elena studied his hair, her nose scrunched up and she bit her lip as she thought, but all Ruslan could focus on were her eyes. They were often this close at practice, but those were times when he would need to be focused on footwork, and he realized he'd never really looked at her from this close before. Her eyes were brown, like his, but warmer somehow and they had tiny flecks of amber throughout.  
  
"Okay, definitely just a little shorter," she said interrupting his thoughts, as she reached out to touch his hair, lifting it up to show more of his forehead. "So what do you think?" she asked, as she stepped back and straighten up, looking down at him.  
  
He shrugged. "I trust whatever you think would look best." She smiled and sat back down on the couch next to him. "You'll come with me though?" he asked. "I don't want to be held responsible for screwing it up," he joked.  
  
"Oh of course," she assured him, as she leaned slightly against his arm. "Definitely leave this one all to me."  
  
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 **Thursday, May 29, 2014**  
  
Ruslan stretched out in his seat against the wall just outside the dressing room, and then ran his hands through his hair, still surprised to find it was shorter than it had been that morning. Completely unrelated to his hairstyle change, Ruslan hadn’t slept well the night before and his thoughts were jumping all over the place, continually pausing on the memory of one unfortunate person he would rather be pretending didn’t exist. It wasn't that there was anything particularly wrong with Victoria. Although just a two months ago Ruslan would have said that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Victoria and just shortly after that he would have said that everything was wrong with Victoria. So he was aware of how his opinion had changed multiple times recently.  
  
But regardless, he now felt that nothing was particularly wrong with Victoria. Sure she could be selfish and conceited, but Ruslan had always been able to crack a stupid joke and make her laugh. Although that had become more and more difficult over time. But still, you didn't end a ten year partnership just because someone wouldn't laugh at your dumb jokes anymore. Well Ruslan wouldn't have.  
  
The biggest thing wrong with Victoria, was that fact that Ruslan was thinking of her now. It did make sense, seeing as he would likely be seeing her that evening at the Olympic Ball, but it was still frustrating that she was on his mind even as he was waiting on someone as stunning as Elena, now officially his dance partner for as long as she was willing to put up with him, to pick a dress for the evening.  
  
Ruslan was glad to be distracted from his thoughts of his former partner, as he looked up as Elena stepped out of the dressing room in yet another possible dress. This one was short, loose, and all black.  
  
"Wow," was all he could manage as she looked at him expectantly.  
  
Elena sighed and walked toward the mirror before she said, "You've had the same reaction to every dress."  
  
"You've looked great in all of them," he said, defending himself.  
  
"Well, I don't know how I feel about this one," she said turning to the side to take in her full reflection. Ruslan studied her reflection as well. As Elena’s gaze climbed up the mirror she finally caught his eyes in the reflection.  
  
"Wait," she said turning around to face him. "This is the ‘wow’. You look great. New hair, new suit." She walked closer to him before suddenly stopping and adding, "But oh goodness, dear. Who taught you how to tie a tie?"  
  
"I know all the steps," he said, reaching up to cover the knot.  
  
Elena quickly pushed his hand away. "You may have followed the steps, but it definitely didn't end up correct," she said, untying his tie and then carefully and neatly retying the knot. She then let her hands linger a moment against his chest before they dropped to her sides and she began fidgeting with the hem of her dress.  
  
"Here," she said, suddenly turning back toward the dressing room and then returning with her phone in hand. "Let's get a picture."  
  
Ruslan smiled at Elena, although she had not turned to look back at him. He had wanted to say ‘Again?’ because they had already taken a number of pictures at the salon earlier that day, but it had sounded like something Nikita would say. And if anything stopped Ruslan from saying something to Elena, it was the fear of sounding like Nikita.  
  
She finally looked up at him, and then quickly turned her attention to her phone as she focused her camera on the mirror in front of them. Ruslan took a step closer to her, careful to make it look like he was focusing on his own reflection more than he was focusing on hers.  
  
"Smile," she whispered before the snapping the picture. "Okay," she said turning back to the dressing room again. "I've got one more dress to try on and I promise I've saved the best for last."  
  
\-------------------------------------------  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Ruslan could see Elena fidgeting in her seat. She kept attempting to look over her shoulder at the table behind them, but she was also clearly making an attempt to be discreet about it.  
  
"The red tie. She let him wear the red tie," Elena said, looking at Ruslan. He nodded understandingly, even though he had no idea what was wrong with a red tie. He figured nothing actually, just that the red tie in question belonged to Nikita. "And that hair," she said. She had looked back over her shoulder again, but she turned back to Ruslan, rolling her eyes. "I can't believe she let him do that to his hair. Do you know how long it took me to convince him to get a flattering haircut? Years, Rus. Years. Like did he think I was trying to make him look bad or something-"  
  
Ruslan cut her off by placing his hand on her arm.  
  
"I'm talking too much, aren't I?" she asked.  
  
"You are talking the perfect amount," he said, squeezing her arm. "You just should change the subject."  
  
She exhaled and smiled before she asked, "So what should we talk about?"  
  
Ruslan shrugged as he leaned back in his chair and pulled his hand away from her arm. Elena caught his hand just before he let it slid off the table. She lined up their fingers and then let her fingers fall into the spaces between his, squeezing his hand as she looked over at him.  
  
He looked at her and finally continued, "I didn’t have a new topic in mind. But actually anything would be an improvement."  
  
Just as Elena nodded in agreement and laughed, Adelina stepped up behind her and rested her hand on Elena's shoulder.  
  
Ruslan untangled their fingers and pulled his hand back and let it rest on his leg. Elena looked at him with a contemplative expression before she turned to smile at Adelina.  
  
Ruslan picked at the cuticle of his thumbnail as the two girls talked. He looked up occasionally to watch Elena as she talked, gesturing animatedly to emphasize whatever point it was she was trying to make. Ruslan was only halfway listening to their conversation because just looking at Elena easily captured all of his attention, but Adelina saying, "We've got to head backstage,” caught his attention.  
  
"I'm right behind you," Elena responded before scooting her chair back and standing as she turned to face Ruslan again.

“I’ve got to go,” she said quietly.

“I heard,” Ruslan said as he stood up.  
  
"I don't want to go stand next to him," Elena said slowly.  
  
Ruslan looked at her and then leaned over to whisper, "You'll be fine," in Elena's ear before kissing her on the cheek.  
  
"Thanks," she whispered breathlessly as she turned away again to walk toward the stage. Ruslan was about to sit down when he suddenly looked over his shoulder the way that Elena had been looking over her own shoulder earlier. Nikita was still in his seat with Victoria sitting next to him, leaning over the space between them. Before Ruslan could turn around, he accidentally made eye contact with Victoria, who had been looking in his direction with her eyes narrowed. He continued to stare back at her, not wanting to be the first one to look away, when she suddenly turned to hook her hand around Nikita's elbow and kiss his cheek as he started to stand up. From where Ruslan was still standing next to his own table, he noticed that Nikita was staring at something across the room and had seemed largely unaware of Victoria next to him, only briefly turning to meet her eyes. Ruslan followed Nikita's gaze across the room and found himself looking at the back of Elena's head where she had stopped to talk to someone on her way backstage.  
  
Ruslan rolled his eyes and exhaled sharply as he angrily pulled his chair back out and sat down. He dug his phone out of his pocket for something to look at. _Of fucking course he's looking at her,_ Ruslan thought shaking his head, his eyes focused on his phone even though he wasn't aware of what he was scrolling through. _You're the one who left her, ass. You don't get to look at her like that anymore._  
  
Ruslan exhaled sharply again as he looked up from his phone. He glanced around the room in front of him and noticed that Elena had disappeared backstage. His eyes then settled on the centerpiece in the middle of the table. He was vaguely aware of the people around him and the fact that even without Elena he should be making an effort to mingle with the crowd, but he just kept thinking that it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that no matter what happened, Elena's name would always be connected with someone who didn't care about her. It wasn't fair that he was the one alone right now. It wasn't fair he'd only had two months. At that Ruslan laughed humorlessly to himself. _And I was telling her to change the subject_ , he thought. _And here I am needlessly focusing on the past._  
  
Before he had a chance to think any more about the irony, someone pulled out the chair next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, Ruslan saw the person toss her blonde hair over her shoulder.  
  
"Hello," Victoria said, her voice betraying no emotion. She scooted her chair in under her so that she could rest her hands on the table.  
  
"Hi," Ruslan responded, briefly lifting his eyes to meet hers before turning his attention to the centerpiece on the table, determined not to give her the satisfaction of showing how unnerved he felt with her sitting next to him. Sitting in Elena's chair.  
  
"Didn't expect to see me?" Victoria asked undeterred. Ruslan could feel her staring at the side of his face and he finally turned to really look at her, meeting her blue eyes. Ten years as partners and he could read her facial expression as well as if she was speaking out loud. She was willing him to say something. She had always wanted him to do the talking. And right now she was worried that he was going to remain silent.  
  
"Of course I was expecting to see you," Ruslan answered, sure she could read him as well as he could read her, if she cared enough to bother. "Just wasn't expecting to have to talk to you is all," he added under his breath, his gaze drifting back to that damn centerpiece.  
  
She sighed and lowered her eyes briefly before looking back up at him again. "You look nice," she said, once again with no obvious emotion.  
  
Ruslan turned his head quickly to look at her, sure she would say just about anything if she thought it would get a response out of him. "You look..." he began slowly, unsure what he wanted to say to her. He took in her big blonde curls and her low cut dress, noting that Elena had tried on one similar but it had looked better on her. He noticed Victoria sit up slightly straighter, clearly more relaxed now that her appearance was the center of their conversation. "You look like you're trying too hard," he finally answered, deciding that the honest answer was best and taking only a little satisfaction out of seeing her shoulders slouch the smallest amount at his response.  
  
"I didn't come over here so you could be rude," she said evenly, like she was chastising a child.  
  
"Why did you come over here?" he snapped back angrily in response, fed up with her talking down to him.  
  
"I don't know," she said, stumbling over her words, flustered by the fact that he was angry with her. "I guess I just wanted to talk to you." She paused for a moment. "Wanted to say that I didn't mean for this to all get so out of control." She looked down at her hands, turning her palms up and down on the table. Ruslan could tell that she was being genuine and he was almost feeling bad for snapping at her when she continued, "Wanted to say I didn't mean for you to end up being stuck partnered with her." Ruslan felt his face flush at Victoria's casual mention of Elena. "I mean, you're so easygoing you probably don't even notice-"  
  
"Notice what?" he asked angrily, aware that the volume of his voice was climbing. "What do I probably not even notice?"  
  
Victoria looked at him out of the corner of her eye, a slight smile playing at her lips, glad that he was interested in something she had to say. "That she's impossible to work with," Victoria said with as much sympathy as she could muster. "That she's a diva. That's she's selfish. That's she's-"  
  
"Can you just stop," Ruslan interrupted, running his hand through his hair.  
  
"I'm only saying what everyone else is thinking, Rus," Victoria said quietly, sincerely.  
  
Ruslan turned to look at her, calculating his response. He focused his gaze on the glimmer of her earring rather than her steely eyes. He exhaled slowly and shifted his eyes to finally meet hers. "Maybe you should spend less time focusing on what other people are thinking about Lena and more time focusing on the fact that your new partner has spent more time looking at her than you tonight."  
  
Ruslan watched as Victoria's face fell, her eyes widened, her mouth slightly open, and he had to look away. He heard her chair scrape against the floor as she stood up and walked away without another word, defeated. He didn't want to, but Ruslan felt bad. He hadn't been lying, but he had only said that to hurt her, had only said it to get back to her, but it hadn't made him feel better. Ruslan crossed his arms across his chest and wished the evening would hurry up. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to go home.  
  
\-------------------------------------------  
  
The remainder of the evening had surprising passed by rather quickly, especially once Elena had returned to the table and her seat next to Ruslan. Both of them quickly felt relaxed being with each other again. They took more pictures, and spent the rest of the evening chatting, fingers laced together. They were tired by the time they headed home and both stayed quiet for most of the drive, Elena's head resting gently against Ruslan's shoulder.  
  
After a hug and a kiss on the cheek in the stairwell, they headed to their respective apartments. Ruslan almost immediately changed into pajama pants and climbed into bed. However, despite being exhausted after a long day, he found he was still restless. He tossed and turned, kicked the blankets off and pulled them back up before finally drifting into an uneasy sleep.  
  
Ruslan had been asleep for close to two hours when he suddenly opened his eyes. He couldn't figure out why he had suddenly woken up, when he heard his phone vibrating against the surface of his bedside table. He rubbed both of his eyes and then rolled over onto his side to reach his phone. Three new text messages.  
 _  
Lena: Rus?  
  
Lena: Are you awake?  
  
Lena: I can't sleep. I think after this night, I really don't want to be sleeping alone._

  
Ruslan squinted his eyes, trying to make out the blurry words. He clumsily typed a response as he slowly sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.  
  
His feet had just reached the floor when there was a knock on the door. Ruslan looked up, confused, wondering if he was still half asleep, as he heard yet another deliberate knock. He stood up and walked across the room, turning on the light and grabbing a shirt from the floor before walking into the living room. He pulled the shirt over his head as he made his way across the room. He made sure to run his fingers through his hair a few times before he opened the door and found himself face to face with Elena.  
  
"Hi," she said tentatively. She was wearing shorts and an oversized t-shirt. Her hands were crossed at chest, tightly holding onto the hot pink blanket she had wrapped around her shoulders. Her hair was piled in a messy bun on top of her head.  
  
"Were you," Ruslan started slowly, still struggling to fully wake up, "were you texting me from the hallway?"  
  
Elena nodded causing her hair to bounce with her movements. Her eyes suddenly widened and she quickly reached up to pull the hair tie out and smooth her hair down over her shoulders, embarrassed that she had thought it was a good idea to show up at his door in the middle of the night looking like she had just rolled out of bed. The blanket slipped from her shoulder free from her grasp, but she caught it quickly.  
  
Ruslan continued to stare at her. He noticed the way her hair started to curl just before it hit her shoulders. He realized how even though she was swimming in the shirt she was wearing, he knew exactly where her waist was. And her legs, her bare legs.  
  
Now satisfied with her hair, Elena made a big production of looping the hair tie around her wrist and then nodded again before saying, "I guess I was counting on you being awake."  
  
Ruslan blinked quickly several times. "Yeah, I think you just got lucky. I'm not sure how I even heard my phone," he managed to say.  
  
Elena smiled sweetly. "So are we just going to talk in the hallway, or..."  
  
"Oh right," Ruslan answered quickly, opening the door wider. "Come in."  
  
Elena stepped past and into the living room. They both stood awkwardly in the middle of the room for a few moments. Ruslan finally broke the silence. "Here, you can have the bed. I'll take the couch," he said walking toward his bedroom. Elena followed him and took a seat on the very edge of the bed, watching as he gathered a few blankets and a pillow.  
  
"Wait," she said, just as he was about to turn around and say goodnight before walking out of the room. He turned to look at her. Elena's gaze dropped to the floor before she lifted her eyes to meet his again. "Would you stay in here? I mean, just for a little bit," she quickly added, looking away from him again. "I'm still not sure I can sleep yet, but maybe if we talk for a bit," she trailed off.  
  
Ruslan could tell that she was tired. _She'll be asleep in no time is what I should tell her_ , he thought. Instead, Ruslan walked around to the other side of the bed. "Of course I'll stay," he answered, smiling at Elena.  
  
Satisfied, Elena laid down on her side, the blanket from the bed over her legs and her pink blanket still wrapped around her shoulders. Ruslan sat down on the other side of the bed with the blankets and pillow he been taking to the living room still piled up in his lap. He let the back of his head rest against the wall behind his bed.  
  
He closed his eyes for a moment, giving Elena a chance to say something first, before he finally asked, "So what did you want to talk about?"  
  
"Tonight was weird," Elena answered quickly, half in response to his question and half like she had also been waiting for him to say something first.  
  
"It was," Ruslan nodded, his eyes still closed.  
  
"I guess I just didn't know what it would be like seeing him," Elena continued. "I don't know. I kept telling myself it wasn't going to matter. But maybe that was a mistake because even though I didn't want it to matter, it still did."  
  
She sighed, turning over to lay on her back. Ruslan had opened his eyes and he turned slightly to look at her, but she continued to stare at the ceiling, unaware.  
  
"He barely even acknowledged my existence tonight," Elena said before angrily turning onto her side again. "That. That's the sort of thing that's not supposed to matter but it still does," she clarified, frustrated.  
  
 _Not that you noticed_ , Ruslan amended slightly. _But she doesn't need to know that._ "I talked to Victoria tonight," he said, more because he was hoping to make Elena focus on something else rather than because he had actually been planning to tell her about the conversation.  
  
It worked. "What, really?" she asked, propping her head up on her elbow to look at him. "What did you talk about?"  
  
Ruslan shook his head. "Nothing really. She came over. Then I was rude. Then she left. That's all."  
  
"Oh come on," Elena said sitting up and, without thinking about it, resting her hand on Ruslan's leg. He stated at her hand clasped just above his knee for just a moment too long and she slowly lifted her hand and let it fall in her lap. "I'm sure you weren't even half as rude as she deserved," Elena continued, undeterred.  
  
"I don't know," Ruslan said slowly, trying to figure out the right words. "I was very intentional."  
  
Elena's eyes narrowed as she seriously studied his face. "Nope," she finally said. "I still can't see you being that rude."  
  
Ruslan laughed quietly and then they both sat in silence. He watched as Elena pulled absentmindedly on a stray piece of thread from the edge of her blanket. He leaned back against the wall again and was just about to close his eyes when Elena softly said, "I just don't know what it's going to be like seeing them in competition." Ruslan shrugged his shoulders but before he had a chance to say anything, she continued. "They're doing that show this weekend."  
  
Her words hung heavily in the space between them and Ruslan let out the breath that he didn't realize he had been holding. It was like seeing Victoria earlier that evening. Knowing something did not mean that he wanted to talk about.  
  
"Remember earlier when I said that you needed a new topic of conversation?" he asked, turning his head slightly to look at her. "And how I said literally anything would be an improvement?"  
  
Elena looked down, her long lashes almost resting on her cheeks. Instead of answering, she slid back under the covers and once again rested her head on her elbow.  
  
"They can't be that good yet, Lena," he said confidently, or at least what he hoped she would perceive as confidently. "And you know that." Ruslan fought back a yawn before quickly continuing, "But we should do something fun this weekend anyway."  
  
At that, Elena looked up at him. "I'm going home for dinner tomorrow, to see my mom and brother before we leave for training camp Monday," she said almost hesitantly.  
  
"Right," Ruslan said, nodding and hoping that she didn't notice his disappointment. Of course he remembered her saying that she was doing that. "Well then, you will have fun this weekend," he said brightly.  
  
"You're more than welcome to come with me," she said in a tone he was having trouble reading.  
  
"Oh no," he said quickly. "I don't need to be inviting myself to your family functions."  
  
"Well you wouldn't really be inviting yourself," she said, propping her elbow up on the pillow again and resting her head in her hand. "I want you to be there. And I think you just about have an open invitation to anything my mother is planning." Ruslan looks at her, confused by this comment. Elena smiled at his confused expression. "Because my mother adores you," she explained.  
  
"When have I even talked to your mother long enough for her to adore me?" Ruslan asked, just as confused by Elena explanation.  
  
Elena laughed and shrugged her shoulders as she said, "I don't know, but you did!"  
  
"Okay, so if that's tomorrow night, what else are we doing?" Ruslan asked, noticing the slight gleam in Elena's eye as she realized that he had just committed to dinner with her family.  
  
"Well," she said, thinking out loud, "we could just head out that direction and see what we find that looks interesting. Maybe a movie? Or maybe something outside if the weather is decent?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan," Ruslan said, leaning back against the wall and yawning again, his eyes closed but not quite intentionally. He heard Elena say something else but he couldn't make out the words. "Hmm?" he asked, but he was asleep before Elena could even finish her comment a second time.  
  
\-------------------------------------------  
  
Ruslan woke up and lifted his head, wincing in pain at how stiff his neck was. He lifted his hand to rub the spot on his neck that was cramping from sleeping at such an odd angle. _Pillow. Why didn't I use the damn pillow_ , he thought. Just then, as if suddenly remembering why he had fallen asleep without a pillow, he turned to look at Elena who was still fast asleep in the bed next to him. She was on her stomach now, her face pressed into the pillow. His pillow. _At least she won't wake up with a sore neck_ , he thought. He attempted to lift his other hand to his neck but he realized that something was holding it against the bed. He look down to see Elena's hand clasped tightly around his own. He wasn't sure if she had grabbed his hand after he fell asleep or if it had happened subconsciously after she was already asleep too, but he smiled as he wondered if it really mattered.  
  
He pushed the unused blankets and pillow off his lap and then carefully lifted Elena's hand away from his. He gently placed her hand next to her face. It was then that he noticed she had kicked all the blankets off in her sleep. He took hold of the blankets and tugged them back up to her shoulders, letting his hand rest on her back for an extra moment, feeling the slight movement of her body with each breath. Even asleep, with her face smushed against a pillow, she was still beautiful. Ruslan then climbed out of the bed, grabbed the blankets, and headed toward the living room, pausing for a moment turn off the light in the bedroom.  
  
He dropped the pillow on one end of the couch and flopped down on top of it. He lay there for moment, thinking about the evening. _The past really isn't important, is it?_ he though as he turned over and pulled up the blanket. He reached over his head to grab the remote from the side table. He turned on the television, more just for background noise than because he actually expected there to be something on that he wanted to watch at 4am. He crossed his arms across his chest and closed his eyes. Even falling asleep, he couldn't help but smile at the thought that he would get to see Elena first thing when he woke. Very first thing.  
  
\-------------------------------------------  
  
Ruslan slowly opened his eyes, still reluctant to be awake, but he could tell from the light shining into the room that it was well into the morning. He rubbed his eyes and then stared at the ceiling.  
  
"Good morning!" Ruslan jumped at the cheery voice coming from near his feet. "Sorry," Elena said cringing, "I should have warned you I was in here before I said something." Ruslan sat up and looked toward the end of the couch to see Elena sitting on the floor with her back resting against the couch. She had the blanket from his bed wrapped around her shoulders now.  
  
"No, you're fine," Ruslan said, running his fingers through his hair. He could tell that it was standing up at weird angles but it was difficult to do anything to make it better without a mirror.  
  
"Here, let me help," Elena said, standing up from her spot on the floor to sit down next to him on the couch. She smoothed down his hair. "I think you need to wash the product out from when it was styled yesterday," she said, letting her hand fall into her lap. "But it's better than it was."  
  
"Thanks," Ruslan said quietly. "I do need to wash it. But then I have to try styling it myself. This may be too high maintenance for me to handle," he said as he gave her a serious look.  
  
Elena smiled. "Well I'm always willing to lend a hand," she reminded him as she very purposefully placed her hand on his knee.  
  
"So," she started slowly, clearly changing the subject, "do you remember what we talked about last night?"  
  
"Going to your house this weekend, maybe seeing a movie, maybe something else?" he asked, unsure where exactly she was going with this.  
  
She laughed. "Well, yes," she confirmed, "but I meant after that."  
  
"We talked about something after that?" he asked, legitimately confused.  
  
"I talked about something after that," Elena clarified. "I wasn't sure if you were still awake, but I guess this answers my question."  
  
"So what was it you talked about last night?" Ruslan asked.  
  
Elena turned to look straight ahead at the television that Ruslan had just noticed was still on from when he fell asleep. "Oh nothing really," she said, trying to decide if she wanted to take advantage of him not remembering what she'd said the night before. "I just said that we like each other and we like spending time together and, I don't know, maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea to sort of make a bigger deal about that." She paused a moment before quickly adding, "In public."  
  
Ruslan's brow furrowed in confusion. "Maybe I'm still half asleep, but I'm not following you at all, Lena," he said.  
  
"No, what I said probably didn't make sense," she said apologetically. "I just mean little things, like taking pictures together. Or holding hands." Ruslan noticed her looking at his hand as she said that. "We should draw more attention to those," she concluded.  
  
"Wait, so are you suggesting we fake being a couple?" he asked.  
  
"No," she said defensively. "Well not exactly. We wouldn't be faking anything. And we wouldn't be saying we're a couple. Just showing off our close friendship."  
  
"Only in public?" he clarified.  
  
"Only in public, right," she agreed. "And you don't have to answer right this second but you did answer last night, so if you change it, I reserve the right to pretend I didn't hear you now."  
  
Ruslan laughed. Of course he wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to get to be closer to Elena. But he was worried about what a fake relationship, even though she wouldn't call it that, would do to their chances of ever having a real relationship. Was that why she was suggesting this? Or did she not know what she wanted either?  
  
Ruslan noticed then that Elena was looking at him, waiting for a response. He made sure to smile and said, "Sure, let's do that."  
  
"Really?" she asked. "I just think it will be good for us, as partners."  
  
"Yeah," he agreed. "What do we have to lose?" He hopes she couldn't hear in his voice that he really was worried they could lose something, but if she noticed she didn't say anything.  
  
"Well I'm going to head upstairs," she announced, standing up. "We can talk later about plans for tomorrow," she added with a sly smile.  
  
"You're the one asking to make plans?" he asked, playing up his surprise.  
  
"Yeah, maybe you're already have a positive influence on me," she said while shrugging her shoulders.  
  
 _We certainly spend enough time together_ , Ruslan thought. He laughed, but hoped she hadn't actually meant that comment as a joke.  
  
\---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---  
  
 **Saturday, May 31, 2014**  


Late afternoon found Elena and Ruslan at a park near Elena's house. The weather that day had been perfect so they had quickly abandoned all thoughts of anything that would keep them inside. They had spent most of the early afternoon walking the hiking trails, but now they were sitting on a pair of swings on the playground. Ruslan swung slowly back and forth while Elena twisted the chain above her head and then let it untwist as she spun around. Ruslan watched her spinning quickly, her hair swinging out behind her. She looked happy and there were few things better than when she was happy.  
  
Her swing having finally come to a stop, Elena asked, "So what do we do now?"  
  
"When is dinner?" Ruslan asked back.  
  
Elena pulled her phone from her pocket. "In an hour," she answered. "Well that's when I told my mom to expect us."  
  
"You're the one who knows what's over here," Ruslan pointed out. "What do you suggest?"  
  
Elena stood up and walked over to stand closer to him. She leaned against the pole of the swing set. "Well we could..." she trailed off without completing her thought.”But you're not going to like that."  
  
"Like what?" he asked. Elena shook her head. "Come on," he encouraged. "You can't leave it like that."  
  
"Fine," she said eventually. "I was just going to point out that my favorite vintage shop is just a block up and around the corner."  
  
"We're going antiquing?" he asked, unable to contain his amusement.  
  
"We don't have to," she offered as an out for him.  
  
"We're going antiquing," he said again as a statement rather than a question. He stood up and walked over to stand in front of Elena. He gripped the swing set post just above her head and leaned toward her as she tilted her head back to look at him. Ruslan knew he'd had a reason for walking over here, something he had been planning to say, but being so close to her he was having trouble organizing his thoughts. The golden flecks in her dark eyes were even more noticeable in the late afternoon sunlight than they had been indoors the first time he had noticed them. Her lips parted into a small smile and she shifted her weight, still keeping her back pressed against the swing set post.  
  
Ruslan swallowed hard, and was just about to lean in closer when the group of children from the other side of the playground suddenly ran behind Elena, laughing and yelling as they chased each other in some game. Ruslan stepped back and pulled his hand away.  
  
Elena laughed as she slipped her hand into his and started to pull him away from the playground. "We need to go if we want to have enough time for shopping," she said with emphasis on the last word. He shook his head, but still found himself smiling as he grasped her hand tighter. He liked the weight of her hand in his, whether it was as dance partners, close friends, or, maybe someday, more.  
  
\-------------------------------------------  
  
After an hour of browsing and talking Elena out of big purchases by reminding her his car was only so big, she finally decided on a small jewelry box and they both made their way back to the car and headed to Elena's house.  
  
Ruslan fidgeted as they sat at a traffic light, tapping his thumbs nervously against the edges of the steering wheel. Elena had been staring lazily out the window making small talk because she knew Ruslan didn't talk much when he was driving, but she turned to him and rested her hand on top of his.  
  
"You've got to stop being nervous. It's just dinner," Elena said.  
  
"Yeah, just dinner," he said, lifting one hand from the wheel to hold Elena's hand between the seats and making the final turn onto her street. _Just dinner with your mother_ , he thought. _It's definitely normal to have dinner with the mother of the girl who wants to play up your close friendship. Your close friendship of two months_. "Nothing to be nervous about," he added out loud.  
  
"It's this one," Elena said pointing out the window. Ruslan parked the car and turned to look at her.  
  
"You ready to go in?" she asked.  
  
He nodded, his eyes locked on hers, feeling like they were back in that moment on the playground. "Yeah," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her across the console between their seats.  
  
As he pulled away, Elena smiled. "I thought we were only doing that on special occasions," she said.  
  
"Well, if we're playing up our close friendship now," he explained.  
  
"Alone in the car?" she pointed out.  
  
"Practice?" he suggested.  
  
"Well in that case," she said before leaning back across the console to kiss him. Her lips still almost touching his, she said, "We need to go in. I'm sure my mom heard the car. She might come out to check."  
  
"Okay," Ruslan said, but Elena was the one to finally slide back across her seat and open the car door. Ruslan climbed out on his side and walked around the front of the car to meet Elena so they could walk to the door together. She smiled at him and he rested his hand on her back, letting her walk slightly in front of him.  Suddenly the door swung open in front of them, a little boy stood in the doorway.  
  
"Lena," he said rather seriously for a kid. "You're late."  
  
"I know, little man," she said bending down to hug him excitedly anyway. "Not because I wasn't excited to see you of course. And I brought something for you." She pulled a toy car out of her purse and handed it to him, smiling as his eyes lit up. "You can forgive me for being a few minutes late?"  
  
"Maybe," he said with a smile, as she pulled him into another hug.  
  
"Oh he's been talking about seeing you all day," said Elena's mother from somewhere in the house. "And you can all come in off the doorstep, you know," she continued.  
  
"We'll be there in a minute, mom," Elena called back as she stood up and turned to Ruslan. "Well this is my brother," she turned back to the little boy, "and this is Rus."  
  
"Hey there," Ruslan said awkwardly waving at the kid in front of him. He didn't have much experience with children and they always made him feel a little unsure. What were you supposed to say to them?  
  
"Hi," the little boy said studying Ruslan with the same serious expression from when he had told Elena that she was late. "I had to set the table and wash up for dinner already, so you guys should come inside."  
  
As Ruslan stepped over the threshold, Elena closed the door behind him. She then linked arms with him, and they both followed her brother down the hallway.  
  
\-------------------------------------------  
  
Ruslan spent all of dinner focusing on maintaining the favorable impression Elena's mother already held about him. He knew he had talked to her briefly at Elena and his trial skate, but he could not remember what he had said. _Probably something dumb_ , he thought. _Like how much I already liked skating with Lena. Or something about how pretty Lena looked_. At the thought of his partner, Ruslan turned to look at Elena sitting next to him. She was turned away from him, talking to her brother about his group of friends and his hockey practices, but she quickly turned attention to Ruslan when the fork that he had forgotten he was holding, slipped from his hand and clattered to the floor.  
  
Elena laughed as she stood up and headed back into the kitchen. Ruslan could feel his cheeks burn as he leaned over to retrieve the fork, although that could also have been from the way Elena had let her hand drag across the back of his chair as she walked past.  
  
Elena returned after only a moment and placed a clean fork on the table next to Ruslan before sliding back into her seat. She crossed her head, letting her foot dangle absentmindedly just above his knee, before she looked at him. "I could get some glue too, if you think that would be helpful," she said, her snarky comment undermined by the laughter in her voice.  
  
"I think I'm good now," Ruslan said, picking up the fork and shaking his hand slightly to show he was still holding it.  
  
They continued to look at each other, sharing the joke between them, longer than was necessary, until Elena's mother said, "Well, back to the dinner everyone here was invited to," and they reluctantly finally looked away from each other.  
  
Ruslan smiled at Elena's mother, slightly embarrassed, but when he made eye contact with Elena's brother he noticed that he was looking strangely at both him and Elena. Or maybe that was just how kids looked at everyone? Ruslan wasn't sure but he let his gaze fall to his plate in front of him, even more embarrassed now that he had let himself be intimidated by a little kid.  
  
The rest of the evening was enjoyable and the sun had been down for several hours before Elena suggested that they think about heading home. Ruslan nodded but assured her that they could stay as long as she wanted.  
  
"It's late," she said. After a moment's pause, she continued, "I did mean to grab a few things while I was here. Guess I could give you a tour," she said standing up and excusing them from the living room and leading the way down the hallway.

\-------------------------------------------

"And this is my room," opening the last door at the end of the hall. "Was my room. Is my room? I don't know, but whatever explains why there's so much pink in here."  
  
There was a lot of pink. And a lot of old skating awards on almost every available surface. Elena began digging around in the large dresser as Ruslan stood behind her to look at the arrangement of pictures and awards on top of the dresser.  
  
Elena hit his leg with her elbow as she forced open another overly full drawer. "There's not really a lot of room in here," she said.  
  
"No, it’s fine," he said, stepping back and turning to look at a picture on the wall instead.  
  
Elena turned to look at him before closing the final drawer. "I can't find what I'm looking for," she explained standing up. "I'm going to ask my mom if she's moved anything. Are you good waiting in here?"  
  
"Yeah, take your time," he assured her.  
  
"Okay, be back in a minute," she said stepping into the hallway and making her way back to the living room. Ruslan continued to make his way around the small room. Novice trophies, junior medals, all the same stuff he had at home too. However, it was a picture on the tiny overcrowded table next to the bed that made him stop. Buried behind perfume bottles and an empty tissue box, he could just barely make out an old picture of Elena and Nikita. It was one he'd never seen before. Elena was smiling brightly, eyes directly on the camera, while Nikita was looking at Elena like he couldn't believe someone so amazing was taking a picture with him. It was a good picture, and that was certainly a feeling Ruslan was familiar with now, but seeing that picture, set aside from everything related skating, bothered him.  
  
Before Ruslan could think any more about that, he felt a hand on his back and another hand reached out to turn the picture face down on the table. "I didn't even realize that was still out," Elena explained, standing behind him. "Like I said, was my room."  
  
Ruslan started to turn around when Elena wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his back. Ruslan struggled to come up with something to say, but ended up settling for just letting her stand there. Elena eventually lifted her head and quietly said, "I'm going to run to the bathroom and then we can go?"  
  
Ruslan nodded, waiting until he heard her leave the room to sit down on the edge of her bed next to a box that he assumed must be the clothes that she had been looking for earlier. Ruslan glanced from the box to the doorway and was surprised to see Elena's brother standing there, leaning against the doorframe.  
  
"Hi," Ruslan said, nervously, hoping Elena would be back in a moment.  
  
"Hello," Elena's brother replied, still sounding rather serious for a little kid.  
  
 _Maybe I was right to be intimidated_ , Ruslan thought. "How's it going?"  
  
"So you're Lena's new dance partner?" the little boy asked.  
  
"Yeah, I am," Ruslan answered unsure where this was going.  
  
"And you’re being nice to her?" Elena's brother asked. "And you're not going to make her cry?"  
  
Ruslan nodded slowly, finally putting it together. "Are you trying to look out for your sister?" he asked. The little boy just continued to stare at him, clearly waiting for Ruslan to answer his question first. "I am being nice to her. And I'm definitely not going to make her cry," he said sincerely.  
  
Another moment of awkward silence.  
  
"Would you feel better if we shook on it?" Ruslan asked. Elena's brother considered for a moment and then nodded. "Okay then," Ruslan started as he stood up and walked toward the doorway. "I swear I'm being nice to your sister. And I promise not to make her cry." Ruslan held out his hand, Elena's brother shook it, and Ruslan was surprised to see that he almost immediately seemed to feel better about the whole thing.  
  
"I do get where you're coming from," Ruslan said, leaning against the other side of the doorframe. "Looking out for your sister and all. I have an older sister too, you know."  
  
"You do?" the little boy asked, interested.  
  
"I do. And she's certainly not someone who needs taking care of, but I still feel like I'm supposed to worry about her," Ruslan elaborated. "I think Lena is similar in that respect."  
  
"Sounds like it," Elena's brother agreed. He looked up at Ruslan as though he was seeing him differently now. Ruslan noticed that he was holding the toy car that Elena had brought. "Do you want to see my room? I have more cars."  
  
\-------------------------------------------  
  
"And this is my favorite," Elena's brother said, pulling the final toy car down from the shelf above his bed and adding it to the collection spread out around him on the floor.  
  
Ruslan picked the toy up to get a better look at it. "You know, I've worked on a car just like this."  
  
"A real one?" Elena's brother asked, his eyes widening in amazement.  
  
"Yep, a real one," Ruslan answered with a laugh. "I've worked on a bunch of cars but yeah, just a few months ago, one like this."  
  
 "Well this is cute," Elena announced from the doorway.  
  
Ruslan turned to look at her. "Sorry I wasn't still in your room. There were cars involved."  
  
"It wasn't too difficult to find you guys," Elena laughed. Her brother jumped up from the floor.  
  
"Lena, did you know he works on actual cars?" her brother asked.  
  
Elena turned him around, her hands resting on his shoulders. "I did know that," she said, smiling at Ruslan.  
  
"I like him," her brother said.  
  
"I like him too," Elena said. "But do you want to go tell mom we're about to head home?"  
  
"Sure, Lena," he answered as she pushed him into the hallway.  
  
Elena turned back to Ruslan. "Well you two hit it off," she said walking into the room.  
  
Ruslan pushed himself up from the floor. "I don't even know how. Kids make me extremely nervous."  
  
"You'd never be able to tell," Elena said, wrapping her arms around him and curling herself into his chest. Ruslan pulled her into a hug, resting his chin against her head. "I'm glad you came today," Elena whispered against his chest.  
  
"Me too," he whispered back. And he was. No matter how confused she left him, Ruslan would always be glad for the opportunity to spend more time with Elena. That was one of the crucial differences between her and his former partner. He’d had Victoria figured out, but he had the feeling that no matter how long he and Elena skated together, there would still be more to discover about her. And honestly, that sounded a lot more exciting, so the confusion didn’t seem like a big deal.


	5. Swept Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of Latvia 2014. (Hooray an update!!)
> 
> Happy reading!

**Wednesday, June 4, 2014**  
  
It hadn’t been her intention and until now had honestly been the last thing on her mind, because these things tended to get messy in a hurry, but for all intents and purposes except for actually calling it what it was, Elena was dating her dance partner. The partner who was standing next to her now outside the station, his hand very deliberately resting against the small of her back.  
  
Ruslan leaned in close to her ear. "I can take your bags to the train, if you want," he offered, his lips lingering close to her ear longer than necessary.  
  
Elena nodded and smiled. "Sure," she answered. Ruslan gave her a knowing smile back, his eye twitching slightly with what Elena believed was an attempt at a wink. She held back a laugh as she handed him her bags, keeping only her small backpack. Elena was sure that no one had even noticed their close interaction just now, as it was nothing new, nothing that hadn't already happened a hundred times in the past two months. Her suggestion that it could be beneficial for her and Ruslan to play up their relationship a bit hadn't changed their interactions, but it was cute that he thought it had.  
  
Ever since the night of her birthday, Elena had wanted Ruslan to kiss her again. Since he had managed to miss all of her not so subtle hints over the better part of a month, she had decided to say something, decided to suggest it could be good for their partnership. And it worked, faster than expected actually, when he kissed her in the car outside her house. It had been sweet and reassuring and exactly what Elena had wanted. She hadn't felt like everything was out of her control or ready to crash and burn at any minute. She hadn't felt like one wrong move on her part would destroy everything. Spending time with Ruslan was fun and kissing Ruslan was nice and everything about being with him easy, and Elena was finally starting to think that she deserved an easy partnership.  
  
With all those thoughts bouncing around in her mind, Elena slipped her backpack off her shoulders and sat it down against her leg as she leaned back against the brick exterior wall of the station. It was still early enough in the day that it wasn't quite warm out yet, but the sun was out and she could feel the warmth of the bricks through her long sleeved shirt. She tilted her head back, resting it on the wall, and closed her eyes.  
  
She had just about cleared her mind, when suddenly the red she could see from the sun shining on her eyelids faded to black. Elena quickly opened her eyes and turned to the side to find Sergey standing next to her against the wall, exactly mirroring her position, arms crossed, eyes closed. Elena was now standing in his shadow. Sensing that she was looking at him, Sergey opened one eye and turned to look at Elena with a smile.  
  
"Just too cool for everyone?" he asked, opening his other eye and turning to face the train again. "Have to hang out over here?"  
  
"No," she said, nudging his arm with her shoulder. "Just thinking about some things."  
  
"Didn't have a relaxing enough of a weekend off?" he asked, pushing off from the wall to stand in front of Elena. "I know you had the Olympic ball but that was Thursday, yeah?"  
  
"It was," Elena answered, as she uncrossed her arms and pressed her palms flat against the wall behind her, rocking slightly on her heels. "And no, it's not really that."  
  
"But how was it though?" Sergey asked. "Horrible? Awkward? Fine?"  
  
"It was fine," she answered. "Well more than fine," Elena continued with a slight smile as she remembered how nervous Ruslan had been. And how nice it had been to have his hand to hold. "With maybe just a touch of awkwardness," she added, her smile fading as she remembered meeting up with Nikita backstage. How it had hurt when he'd refused to talk to her. How it had hurt when she realized she was struggling to recognize the boy she had once loved.  
  
Sergey nodded in response. "And how was the jackass? Anything enlightening to say? Try to make off with anyone's date?"  
  
"Sergey..." Elena said slowly as a warning.  
  
"Sorry, not in front of you," he responded quickly with a slow eye roll.  
  
Elena let out a small laugh at his reaction. "I don't even know why he bothers any of you so much," she said.  
  
"Just the way things went. And Vika could do so much better," Sergey answered sincerely. "But I never said that," he added quickly, raising his hands in front of him. "Rus isn't quite at the point where he would agree with that statement."  
  
"Oh, I know!" Elena said with a laugh as pushed off from the wall and picked up her backpack. "Apparently he basically told her to piss off at the dinner," she said quietly, trying not to laugh so that Sergey could hear what she said.  
  
"He didn't!" Sergey said, amused, as Elena laughed again. "If you’d said that he just ignored her all night I would believe you. But he was actually something short of polite to her?"

“I don’t know exactly. I wasn’t there at the time,” Elena explained. “But no, I doubt it was as rude as he thought. I think it’s just been easier for him to feel like he chose to stop being her partner, too.”

Sergey nodded in agreement before changing the topic. "So the rest of the weekend was more than fine, too?"  
  
"Yeah," Elena answered looking up at him as she slid the straps of her backpack over her shoulders. "Spent some time outside and saw my family. Actually Rus came home with me for dinner on Saturday," she said, nodding over her shoulder just as she noticed Ruslan making his way back to her side.  
  
"Did he?" Sergey asked, his eyes widening, just as Ruslan was within earshot.  
  
Confused, Ruslan asked, "I did what?" Elena felt his arm brush against hers.  
  
"Had dinner with my family this weekend," Elena clarified, meeting his eyes and reaching out to rest her hand on his back. She could feel him relax as soon as she touched him.  
  
"Oh yeah," Ruslan responded as he smiled at Elena and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "It was a very nice time."  
  
Elena continued to look into Ruslan's eyes, unsure what it was about them that still managed to make her mind feel so fuzzy. She was extremely aware of every point of contact between them. She could tell from the way he was looking at her that he was thinking of the weekend, the way his eyes would occasionally drop their gaze to her lips before quickly returning to her eyes. Elena had almost completely forgotten that she was talking to someone, when she turned to Sergey who was shrugging his shoulders uncomfortably. "Rus made a new best friend," she shared, glancing quickly back at Ruslan for a moment before turning to Sergey again. "He's six." She tilted her head in emphasis.  
  
"Your brother?" Sergey asked. Elena nodded but she had turned back to Ruslan again.  
  
"Well I still need to grab my bag," Sergey interjected, attempting to excuse himself.  
  
"Wait, can you take a picture real quick?" Elena asked pulling her phone out of her pocket. "Please?"  
  
"Sure" Sergey answered, taking Elena's phone from her. "Now look like you like each other or something."  
  
Elena returned to how she had been standing, just now she rested her other hand on Ruslan's chest.  
  
Sergey took the picture and handed the phone back to Elena. "You two just might look like partners or something," he joked before heading off to where he had left his bag.  
  
Ruslan looked at Elena's phone over her shoulder. His arm still resting across her upper back. "Is it good for Instagram?" he asked.  
  
"Perfect," she answered. She planned to post the picture online but she wasn't even sure if this could be considered playing up their friendship. It had only been a matter of days since she's suggested it but things seemed to be flying since then. _All of this because I wanted a kiss and for people to like us as a pair_ , she thought as she and Ruslan began walking toward the door to the train. _But playing anything probably shouldn't feel this real._  
  
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**Wednesday, June 18, 2014**  
  
When in a lift, it was a very fine line between flying and falling, and over the past two weeks, Elena had reacquainted herself with being able to tell the exact moment that line was crossed. She had been pushing herself harder than ever during training the first two months with Ruslan, but she still had felt completely unprepared for the struggles and frustrations of the past two weeks.  
  
Fortunately for Elena, Ruslan had gotten just as good at recognizing the line between flying and falling and he caught her every time, or at least managed to fall first in order to break her fall.  
  
And that was where they were that morning.  
  
Elena balanced on Ruslan's leg as they glided across the ice, sure that she could hold onto the position. Right up until the moment that she was sure she couldn't, and she found herself in Ruslan's arms. He gently placed her onto the ice, making sure that she found her balance again, before letting out his frustration with a loud sigh.  
  
"Rus, it's nothing you're doing," Elena assured him, taking hold of both of his hands.  
  
"Obviously it is," he said, discouraged, dropping one of hands to run his fingers through his hair.  
  
"No," she said, raising her hand to place it on the side of his face. "You are doing more than enough." Ruslan avoided eye contact and looked past Elena even as she gently traced his cheekbone with the edge of her thumb. She knew the pressure he was putting on himself to be perfect. And she knew that he was doing it for her. Off the ice they were closer than ever, but on the ice she could still feel that he was trying to live up to some grand expectation. And no matter how many times she told him that he was already everything she needed in a partner, he was still too hard on himself.  
  
"The cameras aren't helping either," Ruslan said, nodding past the boards.  
  
Elena followed his gaze. They would be putting together some footage from training that morning with some short interviews. Ruslan would be taking the interview, as their coaches had pointed out that the comments were supposed to be about their training and people would expect to hear about a lot more if Elena started talking. Elena was completely fine with the chance to sit back and just watch. She wasn't one to shy away from a spotlight, but the constant references to Nikita and the constant questioning of Ruslan's abilities were exhausting. She was also interested to see for herself how Ruslan handled himself in interviews. "At least we're getting the mistakes out before they really start filming," she said as she took his hand and they began to circle around the rink again.  
  
Less than an hour later the cameras were rolling and now, even though this lift had been her idea, Elena was nervous. Because it wasn't just a lift, it was the swan lift. It had been one of the first lifts she and Ruslan had worked up to, and she definitely wanted it included in the video, but now she was concerned about how it would compare to people's expectations.  
  
Ruslan took a hold of her hand and smiled. She couldn't be sure if he was aware that she was nervous, but as always, knowing that it was him beside her made her feel immediately better.  
  
Then they were skating and then she was up and it was flying one hundred percent of the way, and Elena's blades didn't touch the ice until the moment they were supposed to. Elena tilted her head back and laughed before clinging tightly on to Ruslan's arm. She leaned her head against his shoulder, happy. By the end of six years skating with Nikita, Elena thought that she had known what it was like to fly. But just two months with Ruslan had proven that she had been wrong. _Trust_ , she thought as she felt Ruslan's chin rest against her head. _The difference is I’ve already let myself trust him completely_.  
  
A few more elements for the cameras and the morning training session was done. Elena and Ruslan stepped off the ice together. "Good luck," Elena whispered, squeezing his hand before turning to grab her skate guards.  
  
"I'm just talking about how we've been practicing," he answered, reaching over her to grab his own guards. "But thanks," he added as he pressed a quick kiss into her hair. Elena smiled to herself, hoping that Ruslan's cheeks were burning too, as she walked toward one of the benches. She unlaced her skates and got changed into her tennis shoes as quickly as possible and then made her way over to where Ruslan was talking. Even from a distance Elena could tell he wasn't totally comfortable. His face showed no emotion as he spoke about what they had been working on. Elena stood behind the cameraman and waited for Ruslan to notice her. As he switched to talking about their very limited free time, Ruslan finally looked up at the camera and Elena made a face, catching him off guard. He looked away and then back stumbling over his words for a moment before regaining his train of thought, and Elena smiled at seeing him more natural.  
  
Elena continued to make different silly faces every time she saw Ruslan's eyes dart briefly in her direction, amused every time by the genuine smile tugging at the corners of his mouth just because she was there.  
  
At the conclusion of the interview, Ruslan walked over to meet up with Elena, still wearing his skates. "What was all that?" he asked laughing.  
  
"You just needed to loosen up a little," she answered. "So I helped."  
  
Ruslan smiled, shaking his head slightly. "So I'm just better with you, then?" he asked sitting down on one of the benches.  
  
"Yep," Elena answered over her shoulder as she headed to the locker room. _We're better with each other_.  
  
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**Monday, June 30, 2014**  
  
The sun was low in the sky, although there was still close to an hour before sunset. A chilly breeze from the water blew across the beach. Elena pulled her sweater tighter around her shoulders, glad she had thought to have one with her that day. It had been their last free day and they would be heading home on Friday. Most of the skaters had decide to spend the late afternoon at the beach so there were people all around, but it was slowly thinning out as the evening progressed. Elena was sitting cross-legged and Ruslan was sitting stretched out next to her. Anna and Sergey were sitting close together just beyond him.  
  
Elena couldn't believe that it had already been a month. It had been tough and she had worked harder than she thought she was capable of working. Despite that, the month had also been an escape. Going back home was supposed to mean returning to normal, but Elena was sure her reality still wouldn't feel normal. Good, supportive, happy...but not normal.  
  
Elena stretched her arms above her head, her hair whipping across her face. "I'm going to walk down to the water before the sun sets," she announced standing up. "If anyone wants to come with me," she added looking over her shoulder at everyone else.  
  
She turned around just in time to see Sergey hit Anna on the shin, but she just missed Anna sharply elbow Ruslan in the ribs. Elena started to ask what she had missed, but Ruslan jumped up, still holding onto his side, before she had the chance. "I'll walk with you," he offered, bending down to grab his sweatshirt.  
  
"Awesome!" she said excitedly. "Anyone else?"  
  
Sergey started to say something but Anna interrupted. "We're good," she assure with a smile.  
  
"Okay then," Elena said turning with a wave to follow Ruslan who had already walked away. She caught up and looped her arm around his elbow.  
  
They walked in silence and once they reached the water Elena bent over to slip her shoes off. "No water for you?" she asked Ruslan as she stood up.  
  
"I'm alright over here," he said. Elena laughed and reached out to lace her fingers with his. The walked down the beach, the waves just lapping at Elena's toes while Ruslan walked along the edge of dry sand.  
  
They came to a large boulder right at the edge of the water. Elena dropped his hand. "Want to sit?" she asked, even though she was already climbing up the rock. They sat together watching the sun sink closer and closer to the water, Elena's head resting on his shoulder. She liked that he barely reacted when she leaned against him now. _Used to me_ , she thought. _And still not running in the opposite direction_. It was then that Elena shuddered as she felt a cold chill run up her spine.  
  
"Here," Ruslan said, holding his sweatshirt out in front of her.  
  
"No, I'm fine," she said, lifting her head. "Really." Ruslan shook his head and draped the sweatshirt over her shoulders anyway.  
  
Elena pulled her knees up to her chest, making sure the sweatshirt didn't slide off. "So you're pretty good at bowling," she stated, referencing their trip to a bowling alley that afternoon.  
  
"Right," he laughed. "Says the girl who absolutely annihilated everyone."  
  
"Well...," she said, beaming as she straightened her back. "You weren't the worst," she continued glancing back at Ruslan who was leaning back on his hands. "And you have decent form. Just maybe, you know, don't stick your butt out so much." Ruslan looked at her out of the corner of his eye for a moment. He leaned forward and lowered his hand into the water and suddenly splashed a handful back at Elena.  
  
"Hey!" she yelled, flinching as few drops of water reached her face. "I thought you didn't want in the water!"  
  
Ruslan threw his head back laughing. "Oh but you deserved it. Insulting my bowling skills and all," he joked turning to look at Elena. She was staring back at him pouting, her lower sticking out as far as she could possibly make it. "What? Are you pouting because I splashed water on you?" he asked to a continued stare from Elena. "And the silent treatment," he laughed looking out over the water.  
  
Elena continued to pout even though she knew she wasn't mad, knew that obviously nothing about this was bothering her. But now she just wanted to know how far she could take this.  
  
"So you're being serious?" Ruslan asked. "Okay, I mean you are always cute but I'm just not sure I can get used to that lip sticking out forever," he said before turning back to Elena flashing his sweetest smile. Elena's face didn't change. "Well not that," he concluded, considering again. "I don't know. Maybe I should point out I didn't even think that bowling comment was an insult. It meant you were looking at my butt."  
  
Elena accidentally snorted as she fought back a laugh at that comment before returning her face to neutral as quickly as possible.  
  
"I could also point out that you insisted on sitting in my lap all afternoon. Even though there were several perfectly good chairs available," he said turning to look Elena again his face scrunched up, slightly more on one side than the other.  
  
"Oh my, are you trying to wink again?" Elena exclaimed after a moment of trying to hold her silence.  
  
"Got you to talk again!" Ruslan announced victoriously.  
  
"No, but really. I can't tell if you're joking," Elena said, exasperated. "Because if you're serious we can get you lessons or something. It's just not even close. Not even in the realm of winking. There might just be dirt in your eye, I can’t even tell!"  
  
Ruslan laughed again, wrapping his arm around Elena's waist and pulling her against him. Elena leaned into his chest. _All that, and all he had were jokes_ , she thought. _No diva comments, no frustration. And he still called me cute_.  
  
Elena picked up her phone from where it was sitting next to her the rock. "Picture?" she asked. Ruslan pressed his face against the top of her head. Elena snapped the picture and then brought the phone back to check the picture.  
  
"Good for Instagram?" Ruslan asked.  
  
"No," Elena shook her head. She smiled at Ruslan's confused expression before adding, "It's good! But not for Instagram. This one's just for me."  
  
Elena leaned her head against Ruslan's chest again. His hand reached around her waist and rested on her hipbone. She was just starting to whisper thank you against his t-shirt when Ruslan suddenly cried out, "Ow!" Elena looked up to see him rubbing his hand across the back of his head. She looked behind him and saw a decent sized shell resting on the rock directly behind Ruslan, just as another shell flew through the air and whizzed past both of them.  
  
Elena turned completely around just in time to see Anna duck behind a tree. Sergey, however, was still standing in full view and pointing in the direction that Anna had disappeared.  
  
"Hey!" Anna yelled at him, popping out from behind the tree again. "Don't point at me! This was all him," she assured Elena and Ruslan. Elena could tell that Ruslan had turned around too, as she could now feel his hand pressing against her back.  
  
"She was the one who wanted to come over here though," Sergey countered back. "Kept going on and on about how you guys were being boring over here and should at least make out or something."  
  
Elena laughed as Anna turned to chase Sergey at the same time that Ruslan jumped down from the rock and chased both of them back to where all of their stuff was still sitting. Elena made sure she had grabbed her shoes and Ruslan's sweatshirt before she slowly followed the others, still laughing.  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
Elena and Ruslan were part of the last group to head back to the hotel. And within the final group, they still managed to fall behind and ended up walking most of the way just the two of them. Elena had returned Ruslan's sweatshirt and he was wearing it with his shorts now that it well into the evening. Elena, however, still hadn't put her shoes back on and swung them from her hand as she walked.  
  
"Would you please just put your shoes on?" Ruslan asked for the third time.  
  
"Why does it matter?" Elena asked twirling beside him. "We're almost back anyway."  
  
"It matters because that was a beach," he said gesturing behind them. "And this is a sidewalk. We wear shoes."  
  
"But I'm tired," Elena whined playfully, speeding up to walk in front of Ruslan before dramatically dropping her shoulders. "You could just carry me the rest of the way. It would solve both problems."  
  
Ruslan stopped walking and tilted his head at Elena. "I am not carrying you, Lena," he said finally with a laugh.  
  
Elena sighed and turned away from Ruslan, walking slowly and dragging her bare toes on the ground. She could still see the face Ruslan had just made at her. Surprised, confused, interested. She was used to being looked at like people were trying to figure her out, until they reached the point where they stopped caring enough to try. But with Ruslan she felt that he was just enjoying being with her. And that was new.  
  
Just then, Elena felt her legs lifted up from under her and the next thing she knew, she was in Ruslan's arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Well?" she asked.  
  
"Changed my mind," he answered. "We can't be out here all night. And I can't have you with scraped up feet."  
  
"All the concern about my feet," she yawned, leaning her head against his shoulder, feeling all the exhaustion of a long day, a long week, a long month.  
  
In very little time they were back at the hotel, and Ruslan waited until they were through the main doors to gently lower Elena to the floor. She continued to lean against him sleepily as they waited for the elevator. As they stepped into the elevator, a song that had been playing on the radio at the bowling alley that afternoon suddenly popped into Elena's head. She didn't even realize that she was humming it out loud until Ruslan started quietly singing it along with her. Elena lifted her head and smiled, joining in on the words. They sang louder and started making up dance moves, their performance spilling out into the hallway once the door opened on the correct floor. They paused only long enough to find each other's hands and interlace their fingers. In the midst of their singing, laughing, and exhaustion, they barely even noticed that Ruslan had followed Elena all the way to her door. Although it was really more like they didn't mind.  
  
"Anna could already be back," Elena said digging her key out of her pocket with her free hand. She slid the card into the slot and slowly opened the door into the darkened room. "Anna?" she whispered before turning on the light to show two still-made, empty beds.  
  
"They must all still be hanging out somewhere," Ruslan said letting the door close behind him.  
  
"Mhmm," Elena agreed stifling another yawn and tossing her key and phone on the desk against the wall. "Also means that they missed our show a minute ago," she said with a smile before she fell backwards on the bed in another fit of laughter. She was surprised a moment later when Ruslan toppled beside her, until she realized their hands were still tightly clasped. She rolled over slowly to look at him as he stared at the ceiling.  
  
"It's been awhile since we've done this," he said quietly in such a way that Elena felt he was speaking more to the space above him than to her.  
  
Elena sighed almost inaudibly. Ruslan's eyelids fluttered quickly several times. He licked his lower lip and then exhaled leaving his lips slightly parted. Elena pushed herself up onto her shoulder and leaned across the space between them, her face hovering just above his. She held the distance just a moment longer than she wanted to before closing the space and kissing him. Gently, feeling the soft pressure of his lips as he kissed her back. They barely moved, appreciating the closeness, until Ruslan lift his hand, the one that wasn't still holding her hand, and brushed away a stray piece of hair.  
  
As Elena smiled at him, her exhaustion finally took over. Her head felt much too heavy and she carefully rolled back and lowered her head to the mattress, her nose almost touching Ruslan's shoulder. She heard him whisper something about how she couldn't even hold her head up, and then she was asleep.  


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**Tuesday, July 1, 2014**

  
The first noise Elena was aware of was a strange phone alarm. At first it incorporated itself into her dream, and it wasn't until she felt the mattress beside her shift as Ruslan leaned over to the nightstand table, that she realized it was real. She looked over her shoulder at him as the ringing stopped.  
  
"Do we need to get up?" she asked in a small voice.  
  
"No," he whispered as he moved over, pressing against her back and kissed the side of her face. His arm wrapped tightly around her waist. "I set it early." Elena relaxed against him and quickly fell back asleep.  
  
Twenty-five minutes later, Elena was awoken again, this time by her familiar alarm. She reached over to her bedside table before realizing the noise was coming from the other end of the room. She groaned, throwing back the blanket and slipping out of Ruslan's grasp, as she remembered that she had left her phone on the desk the night before. Elena shuffled across the room and dismissed the alarm, pausing for a moment to stretch in front of the mirror hanging above the desk. She realized that they had slept all night with the lights still turned on.  
  
"Now we have to get up," she heard Ruslan say behind her. Elena nodded as she shrugged out of her sweater and draped it over the desk chair. She turned as she tamed her hair into a messy bun and watched Ruslan stand up from the side of the bed and walk toward her, narrowly avoiding tripping over his shoes which he had kicked off before falling asleep. He shook his head, "Even though it was too short of night."  
  
"Anna never made it back," Elena added, nodding her head toward the neat, unslept-in bed. Ruslan nodded as he took another step toward her. Elena could feel the energy between them, how much he wanted to be touching her. He just didn't seem to realize that she wanted it just as much. Everything was feeling a lot less controllable and simple than it had a month ago, but how at ease and happy he made her feel was something that had not changed. "Glad we took some advantage of the private room," she finally continued before closing the space between them.  
  
Her lips had just brushed his when yet another alarm started blaring. "Who's is that?" Ruslan asked, his face still close enough that she could feel his breath on every word.  
  
"Shit," she said under her breath, hurrying back over to the bedside table. "It's the actual alarm clock." She slammed the off button harder than necessary.  
  
"Sure that's the last one?" he asked with a smile.  
  
"Yes," she sighed, walking back toward him. "I've just been… I just didn't want to ever oversleep." Elena had found the events of the past three months to be extremely motivating in themselves, but she was still feeling pressure to prove that she was really committed now. Elena shuddered as she felt another cold chill travel up her spine.  
  
"Maybe you shouldn't have taken your sweater off," Ruslan advised. Without being able to easily offer his sweatshirt like the previous evening, he reached out to rub her arms for her instead.  
  
"I don't think it was just being cold this time," Elena said quietly, looking up into his eyes. She felt his hands slow down, his eyes drifted down momentarily as one hand slowly slid from her arm to graze the side of her breast.  
  
"Lena," he whispered hungrily as his eyes darted back up to her face and he leaned in to kiss her, one hand still gently cupped below her breast and the other pressed against her back, pulling her in as close as possible. Elena wrapped both arms around his neck, tangling her fingers in his hair. She let her back arch backward, her head tilting back causing Ruslan's kisses to move from her lips to her jaw. Elena sighed loudly as Ruslan squeezed her breast again before sliding his hand up to the back of her neck. He guided her lips back to his and she let her hands fall from his hair to his shoulders. She dug her nails in as he slid his hand up and down her back, sliding her shirt up as well.  
  
Elena lightly nipped at his lower lip, smiling as he inhaled sharply and his eyes suddenly fluttering open. He was leaning in to kiss her again, his hand now pressed against the side of her face, when suddenly he froze. She look at him in confusion until she heard the door start to open and realized he must have heard the lock click. They both stared at the door as Anna entered the room and took in the scene of Elena pulling down her tank top and Ruslan stepping away tugging at his shorts.  
  
"Good morning," Anna teased with a laugh.  
  
"Good morning to you," Elena replied, even as she reached out to hold onto Ruslan's arm, not willing to be away from him just yet. "Where did you stay last night?"  
  
Anna's eyes widened as she looked at both of them individually, clearly shocked that they would be asking her any questions at this moment. "Okay then," she finally started. "We had a bit of a sleepover in Maria's room. I looked for you, Lena, but both of you guys kind of disappeared on the way back."  
  
"Yeah, we were tired," Elena said looking at Ruslan.  
  
"And walking slowly," he added quickly.  
  
"Right," Anna said to herself as she walked past them toward her bed.  
  
"Well, I'm going to go," Ruslan announced, looking only at Elena. "I'll see you both in a bit." He lingered a moment longer until Elena squeezed his elbow and he finally nodded at her and headed out the door.  
  
Elena made sure that the door had closed all the way before turning back into the room to see Anna excitedly bouncing on the edge of her bed.  
  
"I knew it!" she exclaimed clapping her hands. "I just knew there was something going on between you two!"  
  
"Yeah," Elena laughed leaning back against the door. "Something." Anna raised an eyebrow at her before hopping down and grabbing her toiletry bag. "I'm not sure we know what that something is anymore," Elena explained quietly.  
  
"That's part of the fun though, isn't it? Figuring that out together, everything new," Anna said.  
  
"Maybe," Elena agreed with a small smile. _Sometimes the stakes of a relationship don't allow for that though_.  
  
"Anyway," Anna continued walking backward toward the bathroom. "I'm guessing you don't want me to tell everyone that I walked in on you two, in the morning, in yesterday's clothes." She made a face and quickly closed the door before Elena had a chance to respond.  
  
Elena walked forward and sat down on the edge of her bed a moment before she flopped back so that she was looking at the ceiling. She could still feel Ruslan's kisses on her lips, but now instead of just wanting more, she felt like she needed it. And that was new. And that made her nervous.  
  
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**Thursday, July 3, 2014**

  
Elena turned slowly in front of the full length mirror checking out every angle of her outfit as Anna curled her hair in the smaller mirror above the desk. Since it was the last night before going home, some of the group had decided to go out for the evening. Elena had been prepared to politely decline due to exhaustion and the fact that her suitcase was still almost empty, until Ruslan had excitedly approached her and she had watched his face begin to fall as she spoke, causing her to change her response mid-sentence to an enthusiastic, _Of course!_  
  
Elena had borrowed a dress from one of the other girls and she scrutinized her appearance in the mirror. The dress was black, shorter in the front and longer in the back. Casual, but she had paired it with wedged sandals.  
  
"That looks great on you," Anna nodded in approval as she turned off the curling iron.  
  
"Thanks," Elena answered still looking herself up and down and reaching up to smooth her hair.  
  
"Rus will like it too," Anna said nudging Elena's arm and catching her eye with a smile, before turning to dig around in one of her bags.  
  
Elena giggled to herself sitting down on the edge of her bed. She could see from her phone they were running late meeting everyone and for once it wasn't entirely her fault.  
  
"Shoot," Anna cursed digging through yet another makeup bag. "I think I must have left the lipstick I was planning to wear in Maria's room."  
  
"Go ahead and get it," Elena offered standing up. "I'll go downstairs and make sure everyone know you're on your way."  
  
"Awesome, thanks!" Anna exclaimed quickly hugging Elena quickly and hurrying out the door. "See you in a minute!" she called back.  
  
Elena grabbed her bag and headed out if the room, too. As she made her way downstairs, Anna's comment about Ruslan liking the way she looked stuck in her head. Had she been thinking about him while getting ready? And was that normal for the guy she just liked having fun with? _Even though lately I have to keep reminding myself it's just that_ , she thought.  
  
As the elevator door opened in the lobby, Elena felt butterflies in her stomach. It had been two days since she and Ruslan had really kissed, but since then, every moment they were together had the same energy, the same need to be as close to each other as possible. It was exciting, but also overwhelming.  
  
_Come on_ , she thought sternly, wandering around the main level, not sure where exactly they were meeting. _Elena Ilinykh does not get like this about boys. Not anymore._  
  
She was just about to round the corner when she heard voices just in front of her. And it was hearing her own name in the conversation that made her stop. Elena couldn't remember the last time she eavesdropped. It was far more her style to walk right into a conversation about her, taking in everyone's reaction as they desperately tried to take back anything incriminating they may have said and wondered how long you had been listening. It was one way to make sure she always stayed one step ahead.  
  
But lots of things were new now. And she decided she would rather hear this conversation in its entirety.  
  
"Me and Lena," Ruslan said slowly in response to some comment. "What about that?"  
  
"I don't know, just wondering," Sergey responded. "You're close. Very close."  
  
"Well that would make sense," Ruslan said, dragging out the last word.  
  
"Sure, but I don’t go to dinner with all of my close friends’ families alone," Sergey pointed out. “And definitely don’t spend the night alone with all of my close friends either."  
  
Elena could picture the way Ruslan had frozen at that comment, her mind going straight to his next comment. "Anna told you about the other morning, didn't she?"  
  
"I swear, she didn't talk about it with anyone else," Sergey explained. "Anna's actually really good at keeping secrets, just only once she's told one person."  
  
"Not exactly a secret then," said Ruslan.  
  
"Everyone could guess anyway. Though I don't know why you want this to be a secret. Because way to go!" Sergey congratulated him. "She's hot, sweet, witty. I’m impressed!"  
  
Elena bit her lip to keep from laughing as she leaned against the wall. She was just about to step out and join the conversation when she heard another question.  
  
"So what about Ksenia?" Sergey asked.  
  
"I knew I shouldn't have told you about that," Ruslan started. Elena could practically hear his eye roll. "And it’s not really relevant anymore."  
  
"You're not supposed to call her for a long overdue first date this weekend?" Sergey asked sarcastically.  
  
Silence. "Yes,” Ruslan finally answered. “And I will talk to her this weekend. I will call her this weekend and tell her that it's not happening."  
  
There was a long pause during which Elena wished that she could see Ruslan's face, because for the first time this whole conversation she wasn't able to picture his expression. Sergey finally spoke again. "I know you're a long way off, but just trying to make sure the noble gentleman doesn't become a player."  
  
Just then Elena felt a hand on her back. "Lena," Anna said excitedly, "you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, fine. Just noticed a thread on the hem of this dress," Elena quickly covered. "Got it," she said straightening her back and smiling at Anna.  
  
Their presence well announced now, the girls walked around the corner together. The boys were seated at one end of the large seating arrangement. Ruslan sat in a chair while Sergey had an entire couch to himself. Elena determined that could share the chair with Ruslan, but that she would basically be sitting in his lap again. And she suddenly wasn't sure if she wanted to do that. _Why wouldn't you tell me you have a girl waiting for you?_ She also wasn't sure she didn't. _Maybe this just got much simpler if he's not really available... But how would I not have known that?_ She was, however, absolutely sure she just needed a minute to herself, but it looked like at this point she wouldn't be getting one for a while. She finally decided on one of the couch seats directly opposite of the one Anna had just chosen. As Elena adjusted her skirt, she completely missed the look Sergey gave Ruslan over her head as he reached his arms around both girls' shoulders.  
  
When Elena finally looked up, she noticed that Ruslan was staring off into space. She crossed her legs toward him and gently tapped his leg with the toe of her sandal. He looked at her, his blank expression slowly turning into a smile. "We were late getting down here," she stated.  
  
"I expected it," Ruslan laughed.  
  
It was only another minute before they were standing up to leave. Ruslan was up first, and he held out his hand to help Elena up. "Very noble of you," she said fitting her arm around his elbow. She knew that he was staring at her, questioning her word choice, but she continued to look straight ahead as they started walking together.  
  
She was surprised when she felt Ruslan lean over toward her ear. "It's been tough, but I'm grateful for every moment of the past month," he whispered. Elena turned quickly to look at him, but he was already looking away. Instead she squeezed his arm and leaned into him more, trying to drown out thoughts that would have to wait until later. _I'm not the only one invested here,_ she reminded herself. _I'm not the only one who could end up hurt. Maybe someone else's feelings actually matter to me more._ It was the last one that scared her the most.


	6. Panic Cord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An update!!!
> 
> Another flashback chapter, Ruslan's perspective this time. The consequences of other's decisions, the risk of starting over, and who has the possibility of making that worth it.

**Tuesday, December 10, 2013**  
  
Victoria lay flat on her stomach, the side of her face pressed into her pillow, eyes squeezed shut. Beads of sweat lined her forehead as Ruslan gently brushed her hair from her face from his spot sitting on the edge of her bed. Suddenly, Victoria bolted upright. Ruslan grabbed the trashcan from the floor and held her hair back as Victoria just barely made it to the trashcan before vomiting again.  
  
Spitting one last time, Victoria slowly eased herself back down on the bed. She breathed shallowly as she carefully turned on to her side. "You really don't need to be here, Rus," she whispered, her eyes remaining tightly closed. "I'll be fine. And you don't need to catch this, too."  
  
"It's probably food poisoning, so I think I'll be fine," he reasoned, pulling the blanket back up to Victoria's shoulders. "And I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I need my partner back up to full strength to be ready for Nationals in two weeks."  
  
"Your partner would be much better knowing that no one was witnessing her at this moment," she mumbled, opening one eye slightly.  
  
"I'm going," he said standing up and walking toward the door.  
  
"Rus," she whimpered.  
  
"I already got you a clean trashcan," he assured her. "Right to your side." She nodded slightly and fell into an uneasy sleep before Ruslan was even able to close the door. He only ended up making it as far as her couch before deciding to sit for a moment, and then Ruslan was asleep, too.  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
He was woken up by Victoria's scratchy voice saying, "Did you really sleep on the couch all night?"  
  
Ruslan sat up quickly putting everything together about where he was and why he was there. _Vika, sick_ , he reminded himself before asking out loud, "Are you feeling better?"  
  
"A little," she answered, pulling the blanket she had pulled from her bed tighter around her shoulders. Her hair was sticking out at every angle. "I was just heading out here to see if I wanted to eat." She walked into the kitchen and began digging in one of the cabinets.  
  
"Nothing heavy," Ruslan warned, standing up.  
  
"I was just grabbing some crackers," she said with a sigh, holding the box up for him to see before opening it and pulling a few crackers from the first sleeve. She nibbled the edges as she wandered back into the living room. "I was up all night," she finally said, her blue eyes cloudy, "so I'm going to try to get some sleep now."  
  
"Yeah," he responded. "I'm going to actually make it to my room this time." He stopped just short of the door. "Once I make sure you still don't need anything?"  
  
Victoria paused at her bedroom door. "Soup?" she asked. "In case I keep these down and want more to eat in a bit?"  
  
"Sure," he nodded. "Anything specific?"  
  
"Can you just ask Anna?" she called quietly from her room, already climbing into bed. "She knows the place and my favorite type."  
  
"Got it," Ruslan answered, letting himself out. _Because I wouldn't know that_ , he thought. Ten years together and Ruslan knew everything about Victoria's personality. Nice, determined, not the most aware when it came to other people's feelings. But he realized that as of late, he knew less and less about her opinions, her likes, her dislikes. As usual, he shook off the thought, reminding himself that she was sick and how hard they had been working and how close they were to proving what they could achieve.  
  
\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---  
  
**Sunday, January 19, 2014**  
  
Fourth. First Euros, last major competition before their first Olympics and their first senior Worlds. And they had finished fourth.  
  
Ruslan was still smiling about how well the week had gone that evening at the closing banquet, more than happy to keep saying thank you as people continued to congratulate him. Well, them. They had done this together. Proven that they had earned that podium finish at Nationals, proven that they deserved that spot on the Olympic team.  
  
Ruslan made his way back over to where Victoria was standing with two glasses of champagne. He handed one to her and they sipped in silence for a moment. Ruslan noticed Victoria was staring at something and he followed her gaze to a small group standing not far away, talking. Out of the group, Ruslan found himself watching Elena and Nikita. Nikita had his arm around Elena's shoulders, and Ruslan could tell from the way he was standing, that the drink in his hand was not his first that evening. Elena beside him, smiled broadly.  
  
Ruslan watched as Nikita's hand slid from Elena's shoulder and to her back. Watching his hand slide down was like watching a filter being removed from the whole scene, and suddenly Ruslan saw Elena's smile as too broad, forced instead of genuine. Her eyes betrayed her confusion, she didn't know what to expect from Nikita. Ruslan didn't either and he quickly looked away as Nikita's hand moved all the way down Elena's back, resting on her butt before squeezing it, hard enough that Elena jumped.  
  
"Well," Ruslan said, exhaling sharply. "All the drama follows them for a reason."  
  
"What?" Victoria asked, turning to look at him as she slowly registered what he had said. "Yeah, that's true." She paused for a moment before continuing, "But it's difficult not to look at them, isn't it?"  
  
"Do you mean when they’re skating, or...that?" he asked, nodding toward them again, Nikita now whispering something in Elena's ear, ignoring everyone else around them.  
  
"Both, I guess," she answered. "I mean, not everyone can have that. Star quality. Making sure everyone is watching, making sure everyone remembers you." She turned to look at Ruslan before quietly adding, "What if we’re never heading towards that."  
  
"If it has to look like that, then I don't want it," Ruslan said confidently, making eye contact with Victoria. "It looks unnecessarily stressful. Even from the outside!"  
  
"Sure," Victoria said, unconvinced, turning to look at them again. Ruslan felt like he had to be missing something, because he couldn't imagine who would ever voluntarily choose the drama.  
  
\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---  
  
**Sunday, February 16, 2014**  
  
Ruslan fidgeted, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he waited for the first warm-up group to be called. He turned slightly to notice that Victoria wasn't moving at all. She stood beside him, stiff and tense.  
  
Ruslan thought for a moment and then leaned over to whisper in her ear. "At least this has to go better than a t-rex trying to do push-ups," he said quietly, laughing to himself as he nudged her side.  
  
He watched her expectantly as she slowly turned to look at him. She stared in silence, one eyebrow slightly raised in confusion. "That picture I showed you this morning," he explained. "A t-rex trying to do push-ups. But he can't because the little arms," he continued motioning with his hands trying to smile at her.  
  
Victoria continued to stare with no amusement. "Okay," she said slowly, turning to look straight ahead again. She lifted her left hand to her mouth, lightly biting on the corner of her thumbnail. It was a habit she had dropped years ago, but would still occasionally fall back on it when she was particularly nervous.  
  
Ruslan sighed and grabbed her arm, pulling her hand away from her face. He slid his hand down and squeezed hers, pushing down his own nerves to be there for her. Victoria looked at him again with a slight smile, gently squeezing his hand back.  
  
The boards opened and Ruslan let go of Victoria's hand and she stepped slightly in front of him. "Here we go," he said to himself, stepping forward toward the ice.  
  
\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---  
  
**Saturday, March 29, 2014**  
  
Ruslan dragged his bag behind him, making his way toward the door and the bus back to the hotel. And he was hoping to get there quickly. With the competition over, he wanted to be anywhere but the arena. It was still afternoon and he felt like he was the only person trying to leave at that moment. There were some reporters waiting around, but in the last four days Ruslan had learned that they would mostly ignore him as long as he didn't make eye contact. He watched the floor in front of him, when he noticed a bag rolling in front of him catch on the corner of a rug. He held his arm out in front of him to help steady the person pulling the bag as she stumbled backwards.  
  
"Thanks," Elena said, tucking her hair behind her ear and yanking her bag across the floor before finally looking up and meeting Ruslan's eyes. "Hey," she said with a small sigh, shrugging her shoulders. "Are you heading back now?"  
  
Ruslan nodded and they continued walking toward the door together, Ruslan keeping his hand close to Elena's back to help guide her past the reporters.  
  
"You're really not getting hounded by everyone with all the questions?" she asked as they finally made it outside and boarded the bus.  
  
"No, as long as I keep my head down," he explained, "usually no one says anything."  
  
"Lucky," she said quietly, sliding into a seat on the near-empty bus. Ruslan took a seat directly across the aisle. He looked at her for a second before quickly glancing out the window desperately trying to come up with something to ask her, but even the most basic small talk didn't seem appropriate. _How are you?_ Yeah, he knew the answer to that. "It is a little colder today than it has been the past two days," he finally settled on once the bus had already started moving.  
  
Elena turned and studied him for a minute. "Why do you always talk to me like we've just met for the first time?" she asked. "So formal."  
  
Her question caught him off guard. The girl who had looked lost in the hallway just a few moments earlier was definitely gone, replaced by a girl who refused to be vulnerable. "I don't know," he answered slowly, shifting in his seat. He could recall plenty of times they'd said hello or good morning, but nothing further than that. "I guess I'm never sure if you remember exactly who I am,” he reasoned out loud.  
  
Elena turned all the way around in her seat to face him. "Ruslan, we've talked multiple times at every competition this year!" she exclaimed. "Although this may already be out longest conversation," she added almost to herself.  
  
"I know. But you talk to a lot of people," he responded, looking away from her before continuing, "And they're likely more interesting." Out of the corner of his eye, Ruslan could see that she was still staring at him intently, like she was trying to make sense of something.  
  
"The sooner you convince yourself you're worth remembering, the sooner you won't have to worry that anyone has forgotten you," she stated simply, turning back around in her seat.  
  
"Philosophical," he said. She met his eyes and gave him an eyebrow raise with a small smile playing at the corner of her lips, just barely making it to her eyes but still plenty to make her entire face light up for a moment. He was struck by how pretty her face was with a genuine smile.  
  
"You're not forgettable anyway," she said, lifting her legs up and tucking them beneath her as she leaned against her armrest. "We sat at the same table for breakfast almost every morning in Sochi," she began. "You ate a lot of eggs, with a tiny bit of salt and a tiny bit of pepper," she used her fingers to show just how small a tiny bit was.  
  
Ruslan nodded, wondering how she noticed that, but before he could say anything, Elena continued, "Yesterday at practice I dropped my water bottle. It rolled across the floor and you happened to be walking past from the locker room and picked it up. As you handed it to me you said, 'I think you'll be needing this.'" Ruslan mouthed the words with her. That one he remembered. Her groan of frustration as the bottle rolled out of her reach, her eye makeup smudged and running below her eyes. "You were the only one to not comment on how puffy my eyes were. And then this morning," Elena still listed off, "you were sitting in front of me on the bus." She looked at him a moment before adding, "But you weren't wearing that jacket."  
  
"You're good," he said thinking of the black sweatshirt now balled up in his bag somewhere. Elena smiled again, bobbing her head slightly.  
  
Unsure how to follow that, Ruslan sat in silence. It was Elena who eventually spoke first, bridging the topic he had been so actively avoiding. "It's nice talking to someone who isn't looking at me with sad eyes, saying how unfortunate it all is," she said. "I guess I appreciate the concern but I've had about all I can handle today."  
  
"I don't even know what to think now," he admitted, realizing that he wanted to talk about it, with her, because of her. "I mean this can't really happen, can it? I can't imagine skating with anyone but her. I wouldn't even know where to start."  
  
"So now we're having a personal discussion," she joked, turning over her shoulder. Ruslan shook his head, about to say they could talk about something else when Elena asked, "You didn't know anything before this week?"  
  
"I knew she wouldn't sign the contracts for shows this summer," he responded, "but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. She could just be looking at options. It didn't mean she would find anything."  
  
"It's different when you're so used to looking for signs that you can't even make yourself stop when you think it isn't necessary," she said. "I don't think a single week has gone by where at some point I didn't expect him to say it was over." Elena paused, exhaling sharply. Ruslan saw the same uncertainty he'd seen earlier flicker in her eyes for a moment before it was quickly gone. "My mistake was expecting him to say it to me."  
  
Ruslan found himself staring at her, shocked by how casually she was able to talk about her partner leaving. He'd barely let himself think about it, even the possibility of it, although he knew he was just putting it off.  
  
"I wouldn't know where to start either," she said finally in response to his previous comment as the bus arrived back at the hotel. "But you have to start by stopping yourself from thinking as a team and by starting to think for yourself."  
  
"Thanks," he said, standing up and waiting for Elena to step into the aisle first. "But I have to say that I’m still hoping it’s not relevant." Her head bobbed again, the only response he would get to his comment, as she made her way off the bus. Ruslan followed her down the steps, they grabbed their bags, and then walked to the building. He opened the door and stepped aside, holding it open for Elena.  
  
She stopped in front of him and after a short hesitation, reached out to touch his arm. "Well, see you around," she said giving him one last smile before walking past him.  
  
Ruslan watched her walk away, forgetting where he was for a minute. _She's something_ , he thought. More caring than he'd thought, more observant than he'd thought. _Whatever happens_ , he thought, _she'll be fine_.  
  
\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---  
  
**Wednesday, April 2, 2014**  
  
Ruslan rested his head on the train window, ignoring the way the rattling was making his head shake. His developing headache was giving him something to think about besides the reason behind his last minute decision to take a long weekend. Regardless, the events of earlier in the week kept playing through his mind. After an uneventful flight home, Victoria had shown up late at the rink on Tuesday morning. He had attempted to say good morning, but she had pushed past him on her way to the locker room, only to storm back out a minute later with all of her things announcing that she was leaving. Announcing that Nikita was her partner now. And now Ruslan had to figure out what to do with his sudden lack of a partner, had to figure out if he even wanted another one.  
  
The train jolted and his head banged against the window harder. He winced, rubbing the spot on the side of his head, just as he felt his phone buzz. He dug it out of his pocket and swiped to read the new text message.  
  
_Ksusha: I guess that's OK. :) But really let me know if you ever want to talk about anything._  
  
Ruslan sighed as he slid his phone back into his pocket. He was sure that Ksenia deserved someone who didn't take over a month to plan a date and he was worried that she would realize that before he got his chance.  
  
They were friends. Friends who had lately begun intentionally spending more time together just the two of them. However, with his busy schedule right before Worlds, he hadn’t been able to do much, and had instead promised to take her out on a true first date once he was home from Japan. But that had been Monday, and then on Tuesday Victoria had announced she was leaving, and now today was Wednesday. He had arrived at the rink that morning before realizing he wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing. So he had decided to spend the weekend with his grandmother, away from everyone else. He had let Ksenia know, promising, yet again, to call her as soon as he was home.

He could hear her offering to listen to him almost like she'd said it instead of texted it, a concerned look in her eyes. He felt bad knowing he wouldn't take her up on her offer, but he hadn't wanted to talk to anyone since the bus ride with Elena. Elena’s comment that day about appreciating people's concern but also being sick of it had continued to ring true for him through the remainder of Worlds. He slouched in his seat and closed his eyes, ready to be removed from the situation at least physically if he couldn't be mentally.  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
Ruslan slept in late the next morning, very intentionally as he was woken up twice by texts from Nelli. He had yet to answer either of them. Finally waking up because he wanted to, Ruslan stretched and checked the time. He finally rolled out of bed and got dressed quickly before heading toward the back door, pausing in the living room to say good morning, only to have it corrected to good afternoon, and politely decline lunch saying he wasn't hungry. He was in the kitchen almost to the door when his phone buzzed. His sister again. He barely read her latest message before replying that it was difficult to think with her constantly asking questions and that he would talk to her soon. He considered for a moment and then left his phone on the counter before going outside.  
  
The garage was located in the backyard, a narrow gravel path connecting it to the house. Actually garage was a bit of an overstatement for a rundown, oversized shed that no one used for anything anymore. Except that it still housed what Ruslan considered his first project.  
  
He yanked open the door noticing how much more rust there was on the latch than he remembered. _Didn't realize I hadn't been out here in so long_ , he thought. The sun streamed through the open door as Ruslan walked inside and pulled back the protective cover to reveal an old car. But it wasn’t just an old car; it was the first car he had ever been allowed to help with and one that he had been working on almost as long as he could remember, definitely making it a project that was more about the progress than about a finished product.  
  
Ruslan spent the entire afternoon out there, glad to have something to do with his hands, something else to keep his focus. He had no idea how much time had passed when he noticed his grandmother making her way up the path, but he could see that the sky was already beginning to darken.  
  
"Ruslan!" she yelled once she was in earshot of the shed. "Forget something?" She held up her hand and Ruslan noticed that she was holding his phone.  
  
"No," he answered, standing up and walking over to meet her. "I'm not expecting to hear from anyone. Except maybe Nelli again. I think she’s more upset than I am, which makes trying to discuss anything exhausting."  
  
His grandmother gave him a look. "You know your sister cares. She's just worried about you."  
  
"I know," he answered sincerely. "Kind of feels like everyone is right now."  
  
"I’m not sure it’s her anyway," she said holding the phone out to him. "It's been ringing non-stop for the past ten minutes."  
  
Ruslan took the phone from her, confused, but before he even had a chance to check his missed calls it started ringing again.  
  
"Hello," he answered seeing it was his coach.  
  
"Finally," Elena Kustarova exclaimed. Ruslan could hear her shuffling papers through the phone, multitasking.  
  
"Sorry," he apologized. "I left my phone inside. I haven't had it on me all day."  
  
"Oh well," she answered, "I just needed to let you know that you have a tryout tomorrow. Late afternoon, but I would like you to try and be at the rink as early in the afternoon as possible, to get in a decent warmup."  
  
"Wait," Ruslan said, slowly processing what she was saying. "Tomorrow? But I'm not even at home right now."  
  
"I know," she assured him. "The tryout would be first thing tomorrow morning if you were here. But as it is, you get on the first train in the morning and then head straight to the rink and you'll have plenty of time."  
  
"But a tryout?" he stuttered, still thinking it through. "I wasn't expecting one so soon. I thought I would have more time. I'm not even sure I'm looking for a partner." He was met by silence. "Hello?" he asked tentatively.  
  
"Well if you're done whining, for starters you're an ice dancer without a partner. Regardless of the situation, you're looking," Kustarova reasoned. "And second, shouldn't you ask who you would be trying out with?"  
  
Ruslan let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "Who would I be trying out with?" he asked.  
  
"Elena Ilinykh."  
  
Ruslan almost dropped his phone. He had no idea what name he had been expecting but it certainly wasn't that one. "Really? She really agreed to a tryout?"  
  
"Yes really," Kustarova said mimicking his surprise. "I talked to her today and she's insisting on one actually."  
  
The rest of her explanation was completely lost on Ruslan. He kept picturing the stunning girl with the pretty smile and the bright personality, and imagining what it would be like to hold her hands and skate with her. He caught himself before he got too excited though, reminding himself that it was still just a tryout. Two different skating styles, two different sets of experiences.

But even if the chances that they would pair well were not be great, she still wanted to give him a chance. "I'll be there," he said finally, unsure if he was interrupting or not. "Definitely."  
  
"Good, because I wasn't really giving you a choice," Kustarova responded. "I will see you tomorrow."  
  
"I'll let you know when I'm close," he said, excitement still creeping through in his voice. "Bye."  
  
He ended the phone call but stood still, his phone remaining balanced upright in his hand, not believing that conversation had really happened until his grandmother broke the silence.  
  
"A tryout already!" she said encouragingly. "That's good right? Less missed practice time."  
  
"Well it is just a tryout," Ruslan said shaking his head. "Probably the first of many."  
  
"You seem to have changed your mind rather quickly though," she observed. Ruslan looked at her, too distracted to follow her train of thought. "Not five minutes ago you didn't know if you wanted a partner and now you're planning on having multiple tryouts,” she explained. After a brief pause, she added, “I'm glad to hear you sound more optimistic than you did earlier today. It's just a quick change."  
  
"Yeah," Ruslan considered, immediately picturing Elena leaning over the armrest on the bus to talk to him, though in his mind her smile was much wider and brighter than it had been at the time.  
  
"I still think it's a waste that ten years as partners are being thrown away," she stated bluntly, "but sometimes things have to happen like this or they wouldn't happen at all." She reached over to give him a quick hug before announcing that she would go get dinner started, both because he had to be starving by now and so he could get to bed early and be ready for tomorrow. Ruslan lingered in the shed to clean up as she headed back to the house. As he finally covered up the car again, the thought of Victoria drifted into his mind again. But with his new found determination, it wasn't because he missed her. It was because he wanted to come out of this better than her. _If she can be done with me, I can be just as done with her,_ he thought, locking up the shed again.

\-------------------------------------------  
  
The next morning, Ruslan was back on the same train now headed in the opposite direction. He had once again made the mistake of resting his head on the window, but this time no headache could make him stop thinking about what that day could hold, even though he was considerably more nervous for that afternoon than he had been the night before. But nerves aside, all of his thoughts were on the girl waiting to tryout with him, and the girl waiting to hear that he was doing alright and that he was on his way home was forgotten for the moment.


	7. Shine a Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> July 2014: Picking up where Chapter 5 left off, shared moments and overheard conversations come to light and a new normal is reached. Where do priorities lie and who may end up hurting for the sake of someone else's chance at happiness.
> 
> Angst with moments of fluff interspersed.

**Saturday, July 5, 2014**  
  
Elena led the way up the apartment building stairs, Ruslan following close behind her. He carried their largest bags, while Elena balanced several smaller bags on one arm as she carefully held a plant out in front of her.  
  
"Did we really have to pick up your plant at the same time we were going to be carrying twenty-seven other things up the stairs?" he asked as they reached the landing at his floor. He walked just past her, propping the bags up against themselves.  
  
"No," she responded slowly. "But I wanted it back. Did you see how many new buds it has since we've been gone?" She held the plant out closer to his face.  
  
"I did," he nodded. "It looks nice." He paused glancing down the hallway for a moment. "Do you want to come over for a bit?" he asked, turning to look at her.  
  
"Do you not want to carry my bag up another flight of stairs?" she asked with a smile.  
  
"You got me," he said, shaking his head as he shrugged his shoulders. "You think I'm polite, but actually, I'm just lazy."  
  
Elena laughed. "Sure," she finally answered, even though Ruslan had already grabbed her bag again and had turned toward his door. She hesitated a moment, the conversation she had overheard two nights before still fresh in her mind. She'd told herself not to think about, that it wasn't something to make a big deal about. But she was going to ask him. And it was going to be sooner rather than later.  
  
She caught up and returned to his side as Ruslan found his keys and opened the door. She slid the bags from her arm onto the couch and made her way straight to the window. She pulled up the blinds and carefully balanced the plant on the windowsill, backing away slowly to made sure it wouldn't topple.  
  
"Heads up," Ruslan called to her from the kitchen. Elena turned as he tossed a bottle of water over the counter to her, which she easily caught in one hand. "For you, not the plant," Ruslan clarified. "You know you can kill them by overwatering just as easily as by not watering them enough."  
  
"You're one to talk," she said. "You're the one who said I should just let it die!" She stepped up to the counter, leaning into it, the bottle of water still unopened in her hand.  
  
"No, I said it was crazy to have your mom come over here first thing in the morning when were just saw her a few days earlier because someone forgot that a plant wouldn't last a month with no one around to take care of it," he clarified, leaning against the counter from the other side, his eyes locked on hers.  
  
"I would think you would care more about something you bought for me," she said.  
  
He looked at her for a moment, before saying, "You got me again,” barely above a whisper. "It's cute that you care about it so much." He leaned in closer, his lips close to hers, but paused a moment just short of kissing her.  
  
Elena hadn't even noticed that her eyes were closing the further he leaned in, but in his moment of hesitation, she remembered herself and suddenly straightened up and quickly turned around, the edge of the counter now digging into her back. She heard Ruslan step back and cross around from the kitchen before she felt his hand on her elbow, sliding it down to clasp her hand. Shifting his hand to interlace their fingers, he walked toward the couch, gently pulling her with him. Elena smiled, letting herself be pulled away from the counter, realizing how much she wanted to curl up next to him. But as Ruslan sank down onto the cushion, Elena loosened her grip, letting her fingers slide through his as she perched on the arm of the couch.  
  
Elena looked down at her hands, complete with bright coral nail polish. She ran the edge of her nail along the cap of the water bottle still in her hand, scraping a spot on her nail where the polish had chipped, feeling Ruslan's eyes on her the entire time.  
  
"Who's Ksenia?" she finally asked, not looking up as she cursed under her breath, immediately regretting how accusatory that sounded. _I wanted to ask, not blame him for something_ , she thought.

“What?” he asked, clearly thrown off by the question.

“The other night…” she started before trailing off.  
  
"You did overhear that conversation, didn't you?" he asked.  
  
Elena looked up, her hair falling across her shoulder as she answered, "Some of it."  
  
"Well she's a friend," Ruslan said.  
  
Elena waited for him to say more, but when he didn't she continued. "A friend you were taking on a date?"  
  
"Yes, a friend I promised to take on a date after Japan, but then," he paused. "But then life got in the way. You know that." Elena nodded. "I haven't had time. I've barely even talked to her in, what...three months?" he said, counting backward on his fingers.  
  
"But it came up the other day," she stated.  
  
"She texted me about a week ago," he said slowly. "I told her I'd get back to her, but I'm sure at this point she doesn't believe me anymore."  
  
"Should she?" she began. "You haven't called her yet, have you." She said it as a statement rather than a question, tapping his arm with her foot before crossing her legs.  
  
Ruslan looked at her. His eyes never left hers, but she felt like he was staring through her. She briefly lowered her eyes noticing the way his hand twitched against his leg, the hand that had just been holding her own. "No," he finally answered. Elena looked up but she had already forgotten what she had said last. "I will though," he continued. "At least to let her know it's not happening."  
  
She suddenly stood up and paced in front of Ruslan before sitting down on the opposite armrest, staring at the ceiling. _I should drop it, I want to drop it,_ she thought even as she heard herself saying out loud, "So she's a friend you would be dating. A friend you would be dating if it weren't for me."  
  
Ruslan shook his head. "First of all, probably would have gone on a date with not would be dating," he said. "And I could have called her. You're putting a lot of circumstances that were out of your control on yourself."  
  
Elena sighed, finally twisting the cap off her water bottle and taking a drink. Once she had returned the cap, she started picking at a loose corner of the plastic wrapper. She glanced up and met Ruslan's gaze for a moment before looking back at the bottle. She wasn't sure what she'd wanted him to say in this conversation, but she could feel her heart pounding.  
  
"Is there a particular reason you're so focused on this?" he asked cautiously. And that was when she heard it. Maybe she should have noticed earlier, should have guessed sooner at least. She knew he was attracted to her, but the way he asked that question, it was more than that.  
  
The room suddenly felt stuffy and Elena felt a drop of sweat slide down her back. Ruslan raised his hand, letting it hover just above her knee for a moment before he pulled it back to nervously scratch his ear. She desperately tried to think of everything that had happened the past few months, tried to remember anything if he had ever done something to make his feelings obvious. _Well he agreed to play up his relationship with you. Who even asks someone to do that?_ she questioned herself. It had all seemed much easier back then, but now she realized she did care about another girl, she just hadn’t yet determined why. And if her own possible feelings for him had recently started making her feel nervous, him returning those feelings terrified her.  
  
"I mean, if you don't know..." Ruslan said abruptly, turning slightly away from her.  
  
"No wait," Elena said leaning forward to touch his arm and throwing away the chance he had given her to sweep this conversation under the rug for the time being. This was her fault and she was going to fix it now. "I just feel bad because you could have had something real and instead I'm here asking you to pretend to date me," she said.  
  
Part of her hoped that he would miss it, that he would make some joke about how she hadn't exactly had to twist his arm or anything, but he didn't. "So you're saying that this is never going to be anything real," he said, reading between her words.  
  
His use of the word never caught her for a second, because she didn't know. Years down the road it could be worth the risk but not now, and she didn't want him to insist on waiting for her if he could be happy with someone else. "No," she said, "it isn't."  
  
Ruslan exhaled sharply and ran both hands through his hair, brushing it back from his forehead. Elena watched him, hating that she'd had to hurt him even a little bit to keep from risking hurting him more later.  
  
"I'm going to go," she said quickly, jumping to her feet and stepping over to where her bags were piled.  
  
"Here, let me help you," Ruslan offered, standing up and following her.  
  
"No," she said hoisting her bag over her shoulder and grabbing the handle of her other bag to drag it behind her, "I got.." They both turned at the same time to look at the plant in the window. "I'll come back and get it later," she said, turning toward the door.  
  
"Lena," he started. She turned to him, letting him take a step toward her. When he leaned closer, for a split second she thought he was going to kiss her, but instead he pulled her into a hug. She sank against his chest amazed that even right now, he was the one comforting her, the one holding her close, making her feel better. "Are we fake breaking up?" he asked with mock seriousness, his chin pressed against her hair.  
  
She let out a small laugh, pulling back to look at him. "You could call it that," she said with a shrug.  
  
"Or we could call it nothing?" he asked. "Since playing this up didn't actually change much, did it?"  
  
"I didn't think you noticed," she said, resting her head against his chest again as he rubbed his hand in a circle on her back.  
  
He slowly let his arms drop and Elena stepped back, holding the handle of her bag out toward him. "If you were still willing to help," she said.  
  
"Sure," he answered, reaching for the handle and accidentally grabbing her hand instead. They exchanged quick awkward smiles as she pulled her hand back and walked to the window.  
  
"You should call her," Elena said, balancing the plant in her hand again.  
  
Ruslan laughed dryly. "I doubt she's waiting around for that call."  
  
"I didn't mean that she would be waiting for it," Elena clarified. "I meant you should call her on the off chance she happens to be free in the near future and would be willing to take you up on that date. Although it would have to be a damn good date. Nothing generic."  
  
"I'll think about it," he said, holding the door open for her as they stepped into the hallway.  
  
"You better think fast," she warned him, "or I'll call her for you. And I won't be forgiving when I explain why it's taken this long. Or why I'm the one calling." Ruslan laughed and she smiled. Elena found herself hoping that Ruslan would call and that Ksenia would say yes because someone deserved to be that lucky.  
  
\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---  
  
**Friday, July 18, 2014**

The midday cafe rush was slowing down in the early afternoon, but Elena and Ruslan had just gotten food. They had made a habit of doing something together off-ice on their free afternoons, every other Friday. A movie, coffee. Today it was lunch.  
  
Elena looked down at her salad before enviously glancing over at Ruslan's plate. Chicken, herbs, the smell was overpowering.  
  
"You can have some of this," Ruslan managed between chewing. "I promise I won't tell anyone."  
  
"No, thanks," she mumbled, picking up her fork to stab a piece of lettuce.  
  
"Here," he suggested. He cut off a piece of chicken, balancing it on his fork. "What if I just must have some of your salad." He skewered some lettuce and part of a tomato from her plate, letting the piece of chicken land in its place. "No way you saw that," he said with a smile, biting the lettuce off his fork.  
  
"Sneaky," she laughed.  
  
"I shouldn't eat all of this anyway," he said, "if I want to be at all hungry for dinner."  
  
"Big date tonight, yes?" she remarked, even though she knew the answer. She had spent the better part of the past two weeks badgering him for details and throwing out every suggestion that crossed her mind.  
  
Ruslan nodded, still giving her nothing.  
  
"You remembered everything?" she questioned.  
  
"I think so," he answered. "But everything's ready. I really didn't have anything to do today."  
  
"Rus, the flowers!" she exclaimed as he trailed off. It was the only part he'd let her be involved with. She had planned out the perfect arrangement the evening before, and had written it all down for him. "I left that reminder note on your door yesterday! You needed to stop at the shop this morning and now," she paused to look at her watch, "it's mid-afternoon. Even if we run there right now it's probably too late."  
  
"Well it's a good thing I remembered that one, isn't it?" he said, smiling innocently.  
  
Elena sat with her mouth open before shaking her head. She eyed her napkin, briefly debating balling it up to throw at him, but when she looked up and saw that his attention had returned to the plate on front of him, she changed her mind.  
  
Once they had finished eating, they headed outside, where Ruslan began walking toward the subway station.  
  
"Wait," Elena called after him, still standing just in front of the door. She waited until he turned to look at her before continuing, "We should walk back. It's not that far."  
  
"Sure, let’s go," he said, immediately walking back toward her. Elena smiled and matched his step as they walked down the sidewalk. They fell into a slightly uneasy silence. Nothing had changed between them in the past two weeks, except for the odd, occasional break in conversation when she would feel like he was holding back.  
  
They hadn't walked for very long before Elena noticed a woman in workout gear walking the opposite direction. That was actually the second thing she noticed. The first thing she noticed was the dog walking beside the woman. It was a lab, just past being in the puppy stage.  
  
Elena slowed down and crossed behind Ruslan approaching the dog. "Such a cutie," she said, noticing out of the corner of her eye that Ruslan had stopped next to her. "Can I pet her?" The woman nodded and Elena crouched down scratching the dog under her chin. "She's so sweet," Elena added, now running her hand along the dogs back before standing up and turning to Ruslan.  
  
"Does it make you miss your dogs," he asked as they continued walking.  
  
"Yeah," she sighed. "Makes me wish I could keep at least one at the apartment. But, well you know, I'm barely home enough to keep a plant alive." She nudged him in the side with her elbow.  
  
Ruslan laughed. "You're doing very well with it so far."  
  
"Thank you," Elena said with a smile. "Oh look," she exclaimed crossing back in front of Ruslan toward a clothing rack set up in front of a store. It was a black and red scarf that had caught her attention. She tugged it off the hanger and draped it over her shoulders, hitting a flamenco pose in the middle of the sidewalk. She glanced at Ruslan, looking up through her eyelashes.  
  
"Very Carmen," Ruslan observed, smiling as he leaned against the storefront wall.  
  
"That's what I was going for," she said, tossing one end of the scarf over her shoulder and hitting another pose, before pulling off the scarf and returning it to the hanger. She was about to step away when she spotted an assortment of hats on the top of the display rack. She grabbed two with hand, placing a third one with a large brim on her head. She peaked around the corner, pursing her lips and posing. Ruslan laughed, crossing his arms as Elena stepped toward him, switching the hat on her to one of the two in her other hand. She placed the third hat on Ruslan's head, laughing as he scrunched up his nose. "It's a good look, I promise," she assured him, still laughing.  
  
Ruslan removed the hat and walked past Elena to return it to the rack. Elena followed him and put the other two hats away when she suddenly had an idea.  
  
"I know!" she exclaimed. "Do you know what you are wearing tonight? I could help you pick something out. Or better yet, we could go shopping for something new right now. I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner!" She talked quickly, barely pausing to breath between sentences, until Ruslan stopped her by placing his hands on her shoulders.  
  
"Lena, no," he said simply. "I let you put together the flowers. That's all you're getting to do." He dropped his hands and continued along the sidewalk.  
  
Elena sighed before hurrying up to walk alongside him again. "I'm just trying to help," she said finally.  
  
"I know," Ruslan said glancing over his shoulder. "It's just weird."  
  
"Weird?" she asked.  
  
Ruslan shrugged, struggling to word an explanation. "I don't know. Just you. And her." He turned to look at her. "You know how I feel about you," he started. "And it's fine. I'm moving past that," he added quickly before Elena had a chance to comment. "But it's still weird with you wanting to be so involved in that moving on."  
  
Elena nodded. She understood where he was coming from. He didn't understand why it was so important to her that he was in a relationship with someone who made him happy. She still felt bad for letting fear get the best of her, for turning him down the way she had. But, if anything could, she was sure this date being successful would make her feel better about it.  
  
"Weird might not have even been the right word," he continued, rambling through her silence. "It's just something I want to keep separate."  
  
"I get it," she said, pausing to really look at him, waiting for his dark eyes to meet hers. "And I will try to not be so intertwined in your love life." As Ruslan smiled at her, she noticed a stray eyelash resting on his cheek. "Oh here," she said, reaching her hand out, "you've got an eyelash." She brushed her hand across his cheek, catching the eyelash on her thumb. She could feel his eyes on her the entire time. "Got it," she announced triumphantly.  
  
"Thanks," he said.  
  
"Make a wish," she said, holding her thumb out in front of his mouth so he could blow the eyelash off her finger.  
  
"No, you can make one," he told her, shaking his head.  
  
"It's your eyelash, and that's not how this works," she explained, not pulling her hand back and resting her other hand on her hip and staring up at him stubbornly.  
  
Ruslan finally closed his eyes for a moment and then gently blew the eyelash away.  
  
"What did you wish for?" Elena asked as soon as they started walking again, pausing for a moment for check for traffic before crossing the street.  
  
"For you to get whatever you would have wished for," he answered without hesitation.  
  
Ruslan was already making his way down the next street but Elena had stopped dead in her tracks at his response. It still surprised her every time he put her first, even for things that weren't related to their partnership, even for something as silly as making a wish.  
  
\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---  
  
**Saturday, July 26, 2014**  
  
Elena sat as close to the window as possible. She has pulled a chair over and was using one of the boxes that, even almost four months later, she still hadn't gotten around to unpacking as a footrest. She slowly turned the page of the book sitting in her lap. She had been reading, but she had also been keeping an eye on the time and as it got later and later she was finding it more difficult to stay focused.  
  
It was just then that she thought she heard the sound of a car's engine shutting off down on the street below. She leaned closer to window, which was slightly propped open, when she was sure she heard a car door slam. She leaned over more, turning her head to look out the window, and she could just make out Ruslan walking along the sidewalk. Elena carefully folded down the corner of the page she was reading to mark her place before standing up and crossing the small living room. She placed her book on the top of the lopsided shelf just outside her bathroom so she could quickly pull her hair out of the messy bun on top of her head. She grabbed the book again as she stepped past the shelf, barely avoiding stubbing her toe due to how narrow the space between the shelf and the couch was. It had been a rough first day back after camp before muscle memory had set back in but she no longer had to think about how far to step out.  
  
Elena paused at the door, guessing at how much time had passed and when she was sure that Ruslan had to be at least halfway back to his apartment, she opened the door and headed toward the stairs.  
  
They both reached the third floor landing at the same time. Ruslan wasn't looking up and didn't notice Elena until she coughed intentionally.  
  
"Oh, hey," he said, finally looking up. "Wait," he added slowly remembering where they were at the moment and glancing down at his watch. "Are you heading out?"  
  
"No, I was coming to see you," she answered, folding her arms across her chest, her book held tightly against her.  
  
"But I'm just getting home now," he reasoned. "Were you waiting for me?"  
  
"Also no," she said. "I heard your car pulling in." Ruslan nodded but didn't say anything in response as he turned down the hallway toward his door. He carried a drink in one hand and reached for his keys with his other hand.  
  
Elena jumped down the last step, her arms dropping to her sides, and turned down the hallway behind him. "So?" she promoted. "How was it?"  
  
Ruslan turned his head. "It was fine."  
  
"Really? Fine?" Elena asked, exasperated, her head tilted. "Third date in just over a week and all you have to say about it is 'fine'?"  
  
Ruslan shrugged. "I don't know what else you want me to say."  He clumsily tried to unlock the door, the drink still balanced in his hand, when he suddenly shook his head. "This was for you," he says, holding the cup out toward Elena. "We ended up over by that juicing place you like."  
  
"Thanks," Elena said, taking the drink from him. She quickly switched hands to hold the cup with just her fingertips, shaking the condensation from her hand.  
  
"Sorry, it might be a little warm," he said quickly, opening the door slightly. He paused, staring off past Elena, as a slow smile spread across his face. "I'm not getting home as soon after we stopped at the store as I thought I would." His smile still hadn't faded.  
  
"There you go," Elena said with a satisfied smile. "That's all I wanted."  
  
"What?" Ruslan asked in confusion, finally looking her again.  
  
"That smile," she clarified, stepping past him and entering his apartment first. "It was definitely more than fine."  
  
Once inside, Elena claimed a chair, placing her drink on the table and opening her book to the page she had marked as Ruslan dropped his keys on the counter. He leaned against the counter watching Elena.  
  
"You should just be glad I don't ask as many questions as your sister," she said, aware of his gaze but not looking up from her book. "Since I promised to not be so intertwined in your love life."  
  
"Have you been texting with her about this?" he asked. "Letting her be the one asking for details?"  
  
"No," Elena lied before finally glancing up. "But expect a call from your mom tomorrow if you don't call her first."  
  
"You know, I've had girlfriends before," he said, taking a seat on the couch opposite the chair where Elena was sitting. "I don't know why everyone is taking so much interest in this."  
  
Elena smiled, leaning forward. "Did you just call Ksusha your girlfriend?"  
  
"No," Ruslan protested quickly. "I was only saying that I've had girlfriends and now I'm seeing a girl who maybe could be a girlfriend but either way no one should find this unusual."  
  
"Right," Elena said, standing up and moving over to the couch. She balanced on the edge of the cushion for a moment before saying, "And they're just happy for you. We're just happy for you." Ruslan smiled to himself, glancing down at his phone.  
  
Elena leaned back against the arm of the couch and started to tuck her legs underneath her. But she stopped halfway through the motion, deciding instead to stretch her legs out across Ruslan's lap. He jumped slightly, not expecting it. Elena had turned her attention back to her book, but darting her eyes up she could see him look at her before laughing and shaking his head as he rested his hands on her legs.  
  
They sat in silence focused on their own items, when Ruslan suddenly asked, "Have you heard anything about that dog yet?"  
  
"Not from any original owners, no," Elena answered, placing her finger at the end of the line she had just finished reading. "Plenty of people who would be willing to take her though."  
  
"That's good," Ruslan said looking back down at his phone. "Glad you'll be able to find her a nice home."  
  
"Well," she started, "it's probably crazy but if we don't hear from the owners, I've been thinking of keeping her."  
  
She looked at him expectantly as his eyes met hers. "Have you talked to your mom about that?" he asked.  
  
"No, not yet," she responded with a small sigh.  
  
"I'm sure she's already had the same thought," he said.  
  
"Probably," Elena said, smiling as she looked down at her book again. She had made it through only a few more lines when she felt Ruslan's hand slowly move up and down her leg. She glanced up for a moment to see that he was completely focused on scrolling through his phone. As much as she didn't like that she had agreed to not press for too many details or offer too many opinions about this girl he was dating, or any other girl he might date, if that's what meant their relationship didn't have to change, then she could live with it.

**Author's Note:**

> I know none of these people. I make no claims that any of this is or could ever be true. Just my headcanons.


End file.
